The Muggle Girl
by JjRavenclawFromDistrict11
Summary: Draco was taught to hate muggles. But before he left for Hogwarts, he had a muggle friend named Maddie. Later, they grew apart, but Draco never forgot. Maddie made him question what he'd been taught his whole life. She was different. Of course, she was also a muggle. Any relationship between them would be wrong. Though, to Draco, Maddie was just Maddie.
1. Prologue

**NOTE: This could be something that Draco wrote a few years after the end of the Second Wizarding War. I imagine that he would have written it in his son's first years of life, still scarred from the events in the books/movies. Something like the war might make you think a little more about how fragile life is, how short and unpredictable it can be.**

 **Also, this story is based on my personal theory that all wizards have to go to ordinary muggle school before Hogwarts.**

…

 _Prologue_

…

Ever since I was a kid, my father has taught me to hate muggles and the muggle-born.

As a kid, I sort of accepted that, even though I didn't really know what either of those words meant. My father's friends would come over, and I knew their kids were wizards, so I played with them. Then, when I started school, I made friends with the people there.

See, by the way my father talked about muggles and "mudbloods", I assumed they were some kind of monsters, not other people.

So I made friends with some of the other boys in kindergarten. My best friend's name was Alex. I don't remember why it was we got along so well, but I remember that he loved football **(A/N: UK football=US soccer)**. And I mean LOVED it. His older brothers played it, and he really looked up to them, so naturally, he wanted to play it too. His parents signed him up for some kind of peewee football, and he told me I should do it too. I asked my father.

It did not go well.

"FOOTBALL? WE WIZARDS PLAY QUIDDITCH!" He had raged at me. "FILTHY MUGGLE SPORT! FOOTBALL, RIDICULOUS! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, DRACO!"

At the mention of muggles, I was confused. "Muggles? Alex never said anything about muggles."

This stopped my father.

"What did you just say?"

When I stared at him blankly, my small brain not even remembering, he said, louder, "WHO IS ALEX?"

I grinned. "Alex is my friend. He loves footba-"

"YOU HAVE A MUGGLE FRIEND?"

"I… I didn't know he was a muggle…", I whimpered at the looming figure of my father. His face was twisted in anger, and he had to take several deep breaths in order to calm down long enough to reply.

"Draco, I don't want you to hang out with Alex anymore."

"How come?" I whined.

"Honestly, Draco," my father said, shaking his head in a disappointed way, "I expected better of my own son. You are befriending those inferior to us, sympathizing with them! You might as well be a squib."

I gasped. "Squib" was a dirty word in my house. We weren't allowed to talk about squibs, ever. I think they were the only people that disgusted my father more than muggles and the muggleborn.

My father walked out of the room, and I was left there, dazed. I remember that my mother came in to soothe me. I must have been crying.

The next day, Alex wasn't at school. Day after day, I looked for him, but he didn't come back. I never found out what happened to him. I suppose I could, but I've always been too afraid to ask.

After Alex disappeared, I stopped making friends with other kids at school. My father told me that they were all muggles, and that I shouldn't be friends with any of them. So I retreated into myself. I imagine my teacher probably mentioned my antisocial nature to my parents at some point, but I doubt that my father found that concerning. My mother always sided with him, so she just suggested having the Crabbe and Goyle families over more often.

The less time I spent with muggles, the easier it was to see them how my father did. I found that I soon began to despise them like him, and to see myself as better than them. I don't know when it happened, but at some point, I stopped even seeing them as real people.

But I'm not the boy I once was. I am not my father. It may not be obvious to the onlooker, but I learned something a long time ago about muggles and so-called "mudbloods". Something I'd forgotten.

Muggles and the muggle-born are people.

They are cruel, ignorant, dishonest. But they can also be kind and intelligent and fair.

We are the same.

…

 **BTW: Lucius didn't kill Alex or his family or anything. But he probably did "persuade" his parents to have him go to a different school.**

 **And I know it seems like Lucius is being extreme, but he is in the highest order of wizard racists, so it's not that unlikely.**

 **NOTE: I will attempt to use correct British terms, but being an American, I'll probably mess that up a few times. "Football" is going to be the hardest, so I'm really sorry if I accidently write "soccer" instead. I might also mess up biscuit vs. cookie/cracker. If you catch any mistakes, please mention it to me and I will fix them.**

 **PLEASE REVIEW!**


	2. 1-1 Colovaria

**I thought I might add a quick disclaimer, but I'm just going to do it once to establish my non-JKR-ness.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series (books, movies, games, etc.) Also, definitions of spells and spell types were taken from the Harry Potter Wiki, not my brain.**

 **Also, before I forget, SHOUTOUT to _deeplyshallow_ for being my first reviewer and for pointing out that in the UK, grades are called "years". Thanks for the help! It's fixed now. **

**Anyone else that notices something that's off- please let me know!**

…

 _ **PART 1: Jinx (Friendship with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Jinxes are minor dark magic; they have irritating but amusing/playful effects which are of little inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _1.1 COLOVARIA_

 _Colovaria (the Color-change Charm) is a spell used to change a target's color._

…

In second year, a girl named Madeline Carpenter joined my class. She had skipped a year, and had also just moved to Wiltshire because of her dad's new job. I found the girl to be quite odd, really. She was sort of artsy, and absolutely loved football.

Kind of like Alex. But female.

Anyways, Maddie, as she liked to be called, was happy all the time. It was obnoxious and I could not understand it. She drove me insane. Plus, she was a muggle, and that didn't really help her case.

I told my dad about her, and he seemed to be proud that I hated a muggle girl so much. In fact, he helped me plan pranks on her – magical pranks of course.

My first trick was honestly kind of cool. My dad casted a color-changing charm on some flour and I put it in a sort of "bomb" with some glitter and a smidge of water. I took the object to school and hid in a doorway. When I saw Maddie's blonde head walking by, I ran out in front of her, throwing my color bomb in her face as I went. The result was impressive: her entire head was coated in neon green flour and there was multicolored glitter all over her. Unfortunately, I didn't plan very well. I thought that by throwing the prank bomb in her face, I would have enough time to get away without her seeing it was me. But she, of course, managed to get a look at me. She told me as much during recess, as she attempted to get some of the flour out of her hair.

"I know it was you", she'd said, glaring at me from behind green-tinted hair.

I grinned cockily and replied, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She, if possible, squinted her eyes even more, so that the hazel of her eyes was unnoticeable. "I KNOW, Draco Malfoy. I know who you are, and I know what you do. I know it was you."

I answered her with a shrug, "I still don't know what you're talking about, Madeline."

She reached over to get some flour on me, but I moved out of the way, still grinning. I walked around her, mentioning that, "You can't prove anything, Carpenter."

With that, I trotted away to do the monkey bars.

The next day, I repeated the prank. Maddie's hair was clean of the previous day's flour, though there was still some of the glitter.

Once again, I pulled the prank off easily, and once again, she glared at me during recess. I knew it didn't matter whether she knew that I'd done it. Even if she ratted me out to a teacher, my father would fix the situation. So I just watched her try to get all the flour out.

Day after day, I repeated the same prank over again. Maddie chose a different route to get to class every day, but I always found her. And after three weeks, she still wouldn't tell the principal that I did it. Her hair had started to take on a slightly greenish color from the constant color bombs, as it was absorbing some of the Color-changing Charm. Glitter was always falling from her hair and even her clothes after they'd been cleaned. I was getting a kick out of it. Of course, I was planning a second prank, but it was immensely entertaining for me to watch her frustration as I managed to do the same thing over and over again.

But then one day, something strange happened.

I was watching for her blonde hair to pass by, like usual, but I never saw it. Instead, she walked right up to me, sporting cotton candy blue hair with glitter all through it. I didn't really know what to do. In my second of doubt, Maddie shoved a can's worth of tuna into my hair. When I recoiled with shock, she splashed some tuna water onto my face, and then proceeded to toss some pink glitter and flour over me. I finally got my wits back and threw the bomb. Much to my confusion, she didn't even try to duck; just let it hit her in the forehead. Once again, she'd caught me by surprise.

Giving me a cheeky smile, Maddie pulled at the top of her head, revealing that the blue hair was, in fact, a wig. She did a stage bow, showing off her clean blonde hair (which must have been dyed back its original blonde) and also alerting me to the fact that she had been wearing a raincoat. After taking that off and stuffing both it and the wig into a plastic sack, she looked as perfect as she had on the first day of class. She surveyed me with a half-smile.

"Too bad you had to go and pick on me, Malfoy. That just really isn't a good look for you."

"My…my father will hear about this," I stuttered.

Maddie laughed.

"You really are a daddy's girl," she remarked, walking to class.

My mouth hung open. I had greatly underestimated Maddie. She'd bested me.

That was unacceptable.

Instead of calling my father, as I usually would, I went to the bathroom and cleaned my hair in the sink, wrinkling my nose at the smell. When my hair was mostly clean of the stuff, I went to the nurses office and faked like I was going to throw up. I got to go home, no questions asked.

And so I began planning another prank. A better prank.

Thus began our rivalry. Because just like the first response my first prank had elicited from Maddie, my second prank caused her to retaliate. Back and forth we went, neither of us giving in, always wanting to come out on top. And so our rivalry escalated to an all-out war.

And as you know, wars are not easily won.

…

 **REVIEW!**

 **A quick note on this story's format:**

 **There are 5 parts to this story, each named after a different type of spell (jinx, charm, curse, etc.). I will provide a description of said spell type at the beginning of each chapter.**

 **Also, each part happens during a certain time period. Part one happens during Draco's childhood and years in "muggle school", but the others all happen after his fifth year.**

 **Each part has five chapters (25 chapters + prologue + epilogue = 27 chapters total), each named after a specific spell. I will provide a description of said spell's function at the beginning of each chapter.**


	3. 1-2 Confundo

_**PART 1: Jinx (Friendship with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Jinxes are minor dark magic; they have irritating but amusing/playful effects which are of little inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _1.2 CONFUNDO_

 _Confundo (the Confundus Charm) is a spell used to cause a victim to become confused and befuddled._

…

Maddie and I's war lasted for about two years before something really bad happened.

As our war had gone on, I'd become more adept at creating pranks using little magic. Most of my pranks involved objects from Diagon Alley or things that my father enchanted for me. For my ninth birthday, my father gave me a miniature wand which would perform very simple spells. I used that on occasion, but not enough to attract attention to myself. I knew I wasn't really supposed to use much magic before going to Hogwarts, but since there wasn't an official rule, I could get away with small amounts. I was also careful not to use spells on muggles, only on things, as it would attract less attention.

During the first week of November in fourth grade, Maddie started to befriend some girls from the popular group. I knew she wanted them to like her; so naturally, I was out to make her look like a fool.

So, one day, Maddie was going biking with the popular girls. I took my mini wand and followed them. When they came to a hill, I had a sudden stroke of genius. I took a shortcut to the other side, where they would be going downhill, and picked a spot that was hidden and not too far from where their bikes would go. I'd have to aim well, but it should work.

I pictured Maddie's face after she fell, searching around, knowing it had to be me.

"DRACO!" she'd yell out, "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

And the other girls would look at each other and say, "There's no one here. You just fell. Let's just keep going."

And Maddie would insist, "No, it was DRACO MALFOY. He does this stuff all the time. DRACO!"

And she would keep yelling, trying to prove she was telling the truth, all the while looking like a lunatic to the other girls. She would never find me; her bike would have been moving so quickly down the hill that by the time she fell, she'd be much father down than me.

I grinned. This would be fun.

The girls came over the hill, laughing and talking like old friends.

Not for long, I thought with a devious grin.

I aimed my mini wand at the front wheel of Maddie's orange bicycle.

"Confundo," I muttered.

The wheel jerked and turned sharply, throwing Maddie off it. I struggled to contain my laughter.

But then Maddie kept going. She landed hard, and then she rolled down another few feet. The satisfaction I'd felt moments before stopped. Maddie looked like she was in pain. She was hugging her left arm to her chest and tears glistened in her eyes. Long red scrapes ran down her arms and legs.

I had made fun of Maddie before. I'd laughed at her, humiliated her, done everything I could to show her that I was better than her. But I'd never hurt her. The feeling didn't sit well with me.

I stood up and, not thinking about how she might react, ran to Maddie's aid. I'd never wanted to hurt anyone. No matter how much I hated Maddie, I'd never meant for her to get hurt. This was my fault, and I intended to make it right.

Halfway to Maddie, she saw me and her eyes turned from being in pain to being angry. Very angry.

"Malfoy," she spit out, "I should've known."

I paused, not quite sure whether I should keep going towards her.

"GO AWAY!" Maddie screamed at me, tears gleaming in her big hazel eyes. I looked back at her arm and wondered if it was broken.

The two other girls looked my direction in confusion. After they recognized me, that look turned to disgust.

I turned and ran the other direction. Not out of fear, mind you, but to get help. I went to the house of one of the popular girls and her mom took Maddie to the hospital after calling Mrs. Carpenter, Maddie's mom. I'm not sure what happened after that, because I ran home. I stayed in my room for the rest of the day, conflicted.

Maddie was a muggle. I shouldn't have helped her. Even though her being hurt was my fault.

But Maddie was also a person. I HAD to help. Right?

At dinner that night, my father asked me about my day. For some reason that I don't know, I told him.

"I played a prank on Maddie. Sent a Confundus Charm at her bike and she crashed. I think she might have broken her arm."

While my mother looked at me with disapproval, she didn't comment. My father, however, expressed his opinion.

"Really? You broke her arm?"

"I think so. Am I a bad person?"

"I would say not! Filthy muggle had it coming! I'm proud of you son."

And it was that last sentence that struck me. Proud of me? My father had never told me that in my life. And now he was saying it because I hurt someone? That was wrong.

Wasn't it?

I excused myself and spent the rest of the night thinking.

The next morning, I went to the Carpenter's house.

I stood outside for probably ten minutes before I got up enough nerve to knock. When I did, I wondered who I wanted to answer: Maddie or one of her parents.

However, the person that answered the door was neither Maddie nor her parents. Instead, her little brother answered the door.

"Hello. Who are you?" he asked me.

"I'm Draco," I answered, "Can I talk to your sister? Maddie?"

The small boy let me in without further question. He even led me to Maddie's room. He left after that, and I spent another few minutes hesitating outside her door.

Finally, I knocked hesitantly, gently pushing the door open as I did.

"Maddie?" I called. "It's Draco."

She didn't reply, but her head snapped up when I said my name. She was sitting at her desk, presumably reading. There was a purple cast on her left arm.

"Is your arm broken?" I wondered aloud.

"It's my wrist, actually."

"Oh," was all I could think to say.

An awkward moment fell, and then I said, "I'm sorry, Maddie. I really am. I didn't mean for you to get hurt."

Maddie looked thoughtful. "I think I can forgive you. Something like this was bound to happen eventually, right? But I've always wondered… how come you picked on me? I mean, back when this all started, you just ambushed me out of the blue. Why me? Did I do something?"

No. She hadn't done anything. It wasn't what she did, but who she was that made me target her. It was because she was a muggle. Of course, most of my other classmates were muggles, too.

"I don't really know," I said, because it was all I could think to say. "I guess it was pretty stupid, huh?"

"Yeah," Maddie agreed.

We looked at each other for a while, and then my eyes traveled to her book, which I realized was actually a sketchpad.

"What are you drawing?" I asked her.

Maddie looked down. "It's a hummingbird. They're my favorite animal," she told me. "My grandma has a bird feeder made just for hummingbirds. If you sit really quiet and still for a while, they'll fly all around you. They're so fast, it's hard to keep track of them."

I took a few steps toward her and looked at her picture. I don't remember exactly what the drawing looked like now, but at the time, it was rather impressive to me.

"Wow. It's really good."

"I want to be an artist when I grow up," she said matter-of-factly. "My mom says that's not a real job, but I'm gonna do it anyway."

I smiled at her, "You should. You'd be great at it."

Maddie blushed. For a moment, she didn't say anything, but finally, she asked, "Can we call a truce?"

"A truce?" I asked blankly.

"I don't wanna fight anymore. Can't we just agree to be friends?"

Friends? No. I knew I couldn't be friend with a muggle.

"I'm no good at friends," I said quietly, "but I don't want to keep fighting either. So… truce, then?

Maddie stuck her hand out and I shook it.

"Truce," she agreed.

We grinned at each other, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. Despite what my father had taught me, I didn't want anyone to get hurt. Not even a muggle.

I started to leave when Maddie asked, "Wait. My birthday is coming up next week. I invited everyone in the class. Do you want to come?"

"I'm not sure my father would let me."

Maddie shrugged, "That's okay. But you should come if you can. Just promise to be nice."

I shrugged back, "We'll see."

Maddie rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed.

As I left, I thought about the prospect of going to a muggle birthday party. Then, cringing at that idea, I instead thought about the prospect of going to Maddie's birthday party. That idea seemed much nicer. I mean, I knew Maddie was a muggle. Obviously she was a muggle. Duh. But when I pushed that fact out of my mind, thought of her as just Maddie, she was pretty cool. I mean, she played pranks almost as well as I did, managed to surprise me for over two years with how cunning she was. Maddie was pretty amazing, and I imagined she would fit well into Slytherin if she was a witch.

What if Maddie was a witch? She could be muggle-born.

I cringed again. That wasn't much better than being a muggle.

Perhaps she was a half-blood? Maybe one of her parents had magic and they just never told her, or maybe she was adopted. I grinned. Thinking about it that way, the idea of going to Maddie's birthday party didn't seem so bad after all.

Maybe we could even be friends.

I pushed the thought out of my mind for the moment. We'd see. Perhaps I'd get to know her better first, see if she could really be a witch. I guessed that the best place to start would be at her party.

The only problem? Convincing my father.

…

 **REVIEW!**

 **I hope that I'm portraying Draco well enough. It's very challenging to create a friendship between him and a muggle when he has such deep-set prejudices against them. The line between accurate and OOC is very thin, and I feel like I might end up riding that line at times. Hopefully, though, I won't fall into the OOC pit. That's a difficult place to get out of.**


	4. 1-3 Reparo

_**PART 1: Jinx (Friendship with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Jinxes are minor dark magic; they have irritating but amusing/playful effects which are of little inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _1.3 REPARO_

 _Reparo (the Mending Charm) is a spell used to repair objects._

…

It was surprisingly easy to trick my father into letting me go to Maddie's party. I told our old house elf, Dobby, to buy a football **(A/N: soccer ball)** with some money I gave him. I made him swear to keep the errand a secret, and to tell my father, if he asked, that I sent him out to buy me sweets.

As always, Dobby replied, "Yes, master."

It's odd, though. House elves are born servants. Without us, they don't have much of a purpose in life. The other house elves were always eager to please us, yet Dobby seemed so unhappy with the job we'd given him. Sure, my father wasn't the kindest master in the world, but there were worse. Plus, we gave our house elves everything they could possibly need: food, shelter, clothing (sort of). What more could you want? I suppose everything's subjective.

Anyways, Dobby brought back a standard black and white football, which I then painted. I'm not an artist, so I just splattered it with different colors of paint, making a sort of messy collage of color. I hoped she would like it.

"It was Maddie's favorite ball," I told my father, "and I stole it. Now that I've ruined it, I'm going to give it back. Her birthday party's this weekend, and I was thinking that'd be a good time to do it. She invited the whole class, including me."

A malicious smile crossed my father's face, "Nice idea, Draco. I approve. Was that all you were going to do to the muggle ball, or did you perhaps plan to do a little more damage?"

I thought quickly. After living with my father for nine years, I'd learned the sort of lies he would buy, the sort of things he approved of.

"I might tear it a little right before the party. I want her to be able to recognize it when she sees it, so I can't let it completely fall apart," I lied.

My father nodded his approval. "Let me know if you need any help."

"I will," I said, knowing that I would do no such thing.

Before I go on, there's something you should know. The way I have written about my father in no way means that we do not care about each other, or that I believe he is a "bad person". He is my father, and he will always mean a great deal to me. As for his opinions of muggles and "mudbloods", I can only tell you what I must tell myself: the concept of pureblood supremacy was ingrained into my father's mind from birth, as it was into my own mind. He did not question the idea; it was something his family believed, so it was something he believed. He never spent time with muggles or sought to understand them, so his opinions never changed. It is only because I came to know Madeline Carpenter that I began to reconsider the ideas that I had believed in since I was small. It is only because of her that I began to see the other side. And even then, it took me a long time to understand.

So, as I was saying, I took the paint-splattered ball to the party as my gift to Maddie. It was wrapped rather unprofessionally, as I wasn't sure how muggles wrapped their gifts. I knew that some wizards (much poorer than my family) wrapped their gifts in the newspaper, so I clumsily wrapped Maddie's football in a section of the local muggle paper. It wasn't pretty, but it was good enough.

On the way to Maddie's house, I nearly turned back a number of times. What was I thinking, going to a muggle party? The idea seemed more and more ridiculous the closer I got. But then I was standing on Maddie's doorstep, and I figured I might as well go in at that point.

Once again, let me note that I still had a lot of, say, prejudices against muggles. I went to the party because of Maddie, because I thought maybe she could be a witch and she just didn't know about it yet. Truth is, I just really wanted to believe that. Despite all of our fighting, I admired Maddie for her cunning. She was smarter, braver, kinder, and a better strategist that any of my wizard friends. Sure, Crabbe and Goyle were okay. And they were good friends. And, as time passed, they proved themselves to be helpful. But they were no Maddie. Maddie had insane talent. I couldn't help hoping that she was a witch because I thought she and I would make a pretty good team.

So I went.

And I said hi to Maddie. To her brother. To her parents, as I silently observed them, wondering if one could be a witch or wizard.

But I didn't really talk to anyone else. I slunk into a corner and silently hated them, trying not to glare for Maddie's sake. But I still hated muggles. I'd put Maddie in her own category, a mystery, but I was convinced of everyone else's normality. They were so disgustingly ordinary, and I despised them. Most of the muggles avoided me anyways. I was the "weird kid" at school. No one wanted to be around me.

There were games- muggle games- and I have to admit feeling a little embarrassed that I didn't know how to play them. Everyone else seemed to have played them plenty of times before, but I didn't know any muggle games. It didn't help that the popular girl who was reading the rules to me was a complete jerk about it.

"Yeah, and THEN you move your piece," she'd say, as though I still didn't understand the order in which to roll a die and move your game piece.

"I know that," I snapped at her. "Just tell me how to win."

She shrugged, mouthing "What gives?" to one of her friends. I looked around for Maddie. Everyone had gotten split up so there wouldn't be too many people all playing the same board game. She was a few games over, playing something called _Operation_.

"Did you get that?" I heard from next to me.

"Huh?"

And then there was laughter.

"Duh! Weren't you paying attention? Wow, what an idiot." The girl said, smirking to her giggling friends.

That was it.

I stood up and walked out.

"What's wrong, Malfoy? Too dumb to play _Life_?"

I balled my hands into fists. Out of all the muggles in the world, this girl had to be one of the worst. The desire to hex her was rather difficult to shove down, but I knew doing magic in front of so many muggles would get me in trouble. Plus, Maddie would be pissed.

So I ignored the girl's ridicule and got out of there. I stood just off the porch for a minute, taking some deep breaths in an effort to calm down. A few seconds before I might have left, Maddie came out.

"Draco? Are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm gonna go. I'd really like to beat up a few of your friends right now, and if I stay any longer, I might actually do that."

"You could always just color-bomb them," Maddie suggested with a laugh.

A small chuckle escaped me.

"I'd help you," Maddie continued. "I thought I wanted to be friends with them, but those girls are awful. I'd much rather be friends with you."

I dug my toe into the dirt, my face heating up. It was an odd feeling. Unfamiliar.

"I'm not sure you want to be friends with me."

"Of course I do!"

I frowned at Maddie, "I'm really bad at being friends."

"You said that before. That's okay. I'm not really great at being friends either."

I almost laughed. Maddie was the kind of person everyone wants to be friends with.

"What if we were allies?" Maddie suggested when I didn't respond.

I perked up at the suggestion. "Really? That would be cool!"

Maddie grinned, "Sweet. First task will be pranking those girls. I'm serious about that color bomb. And I think they deserve a little tuna water to the face."

I laughed, "Maybe, maybe. We'll come up with something. It'll be awesome."

A moment passed, and Maddie asked, "Are you still gonna go?"

I almost reconsidered, but, "Yeah. I think I should. But maybe I'll start work on some ideas for our first prank together."

"Good idea," Maddie told me, nodding in agreement.

"Wait…" I rushed inside, confusing some of the people inside, and got the gift I brought for Maddie. Then I ran back outside, holding it out to her.

"Here. Open it."

She took the gift gingerly and began pulling apart my newspaper wrapping.

"Wow. That's so… COOL!" she exclaimed upon seeing the ball.

"Did you make this?" she asked excitedly.

I shrugged. "I did the paint stuff, if that's what you're asking."

"That's awesome! I bet no one else in the whole world has a ball like this! Thanks!" Maddie lunged and gave me a big hug. I stood there rather stiffly, a little uncomfortable. My mom was pretty much the only person who hugged me on a regular basis.

Maddie pulled back and I gave her a goofy smile, "See you around, Carpenter."

She laughed. "Bye, Draco."

And I headed back toward my house feeling a little lighter than I had when I left.

Funny how the smallest things can inspire the biggest smiles.

…

 **REVIEW!**


	5. 1-4 Tarantallegra

_**PART 1: Jinx (Friendship with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Jinxes are minor dark magic; they have irritating but amusing/playful effects which are of little inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _1.4 TARANTALLEGRA_

 _Tarantallegra (the Dancing Feet Spell) is a spell used to make a victim's legs dance uncontrollably._

…

Throughout the rest of fourth year, Maddie and I kept up a friendly rivalry. At first, we'd worked together to come up with good pranks. Over time, that evolved. Instead, we would get together and come up with a basic prank idea, then individually pull a variation of the prank on different people. We would determine the winner of each "prank battle" based on scores for creativity and overall effect. To avoid biased scores, we would score both our prank and the other person's, so it would be fair. We started keeping a scoreboard of points for who won prank battles. I was usually in the lead, but not by much. We were fairly well matched. I imagine that if Maddie had been able to use magic, she would have been even better than me.

We also started joining clubs together. At first, I was worried that my father wouldn't let me join "muggle clubs", but when I told him it was to "prove my superiority", he agreed to allow it. We were in chess club, art club, book club, math club, and a few others. Maddie tended to earn more "club points" than I did, but again, we were pretty close.

We also joined orchestra together, where Maddie played viola and I played cello. In that class, we didn't compete, though that's what I told my father I was doing. It was Maddie's idea that we find a way to meet that wouldn't tip off my father. So orchestra was our plan. During class, we didn't talk much, but we were able to talk while putting our instruments away and on the walks there and back. As it turns out, I actually really liked playing the cello. I gave it up when I turned 11, but sometimes wish I would've continued to play. Witches and wizards play music too. In fact, my mom played the violin, and would often play with me when I was practicing. My father used to watch, and it was one of the only times I saw the deep creases in his face recede. I think he must have loved listening to my mom play, but was too embarrassed to say so. Most of the Malfoy family wasn't too fond of music.

Anyway, at the end of the summer before fifth grade, Maddie told me she couldn't be in all of the clubs we had been in the previous year.

"Why not?" I'd asked her.

"I have football," she explained, "so I won't have time."

After a moment, she added, "You should join a team. It's really fun. We can see who's better at this."

That idea had faults. First, football was one of the muggle things my father hated most. Second, I had never played the sport in my life.

I told Maddie as much, and she responded, "I'll teach you how to play."

So, on weekends, I would sneak over to Maddie's house and we'd play football together. After a month or so, I'd gotten pretty good, and I realized I did really want to play on a team.

Risking it all, I asked my father about it. I tried to emphasize that it was a competitive thing, that I was doing it to "show I could master any sport better than Maddie or any other muggle." Still, my father did not approve. He didn't yell at me as much as he had when I was young and had wanted to play it with my friend Alex. Still, it was a firm NO.

"Draco, you would have to be on a team with other muggles," he told me. "I don't want you socializing with them any more than you have to. My answer is NO."

My mother watched the exchange and pulled my father aside after dinner. The next morning, she told me that he had changed his mind and if I still wanted, she would sign me up for a city football team. I didn't know what she had said to my father, but I was grateful.

Throughout the fall, Maddie and I kept score of how many games our teams won and how many goals we each scored. Of course, Maddie's was higher.

During the last game of the season, Maddie came to watch me. During the last half of the game, I was goalkeeper, something I was particularly skilled at. But my team was winning by a lot. A LOT. So at the very end of the game, I let the other team's ball slide by while I started doing a weird little dance, as if someone in the audience had struck me with a tarantallegra spell. Maddie was laughing uncontrollably at the display, and while my team wasn't quite as happy with the move, we still won, and it was a good end to the last football game I would probably ever play.

…

 **Short chapter, I know. The next one will be a little longer, I promise.**

 **REVIEW!**


	6. 1-5 Depulso

**This is the last chapter of Part 1- ENJOY!**

…

 _ **PART 1: Jinx (Friendship with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Jinxes are minor dark magic; they have irritating but amusing/playful effects which are of little inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _1.5 DEPULSO_

 _Depulso (the Banishing Charm) is a spell used to make a target fly toward a specific location._

…

At the end of fifth grade, I kept waiting for Maddie's Hogwarts letter. By that time, I had convinced myself that she was a witch. I was so sure of it.

Day after day, I'd find a way to casually ask Maddie whether she'd gotten any "interesting mail". Unless she were a muggle-born, that was how she would get her acceptance. If she was a muggle-born, Headmaster Dumbledore would come to talk to her family.

I kept waiting for one of those things to happen. I mentioned time and time again that I was going to boarding school the next year, and that I though the school might contact Maddie since she was such a good candidate. Maddie thought I was being stupid, and told me that there was no way her parents would let her go to boarding school.

"Just wait," I told her, "You'll see."

Soon enough, I got my own letter, which, while it was expected, cheered up everyone in the house. After that, I was all the more eager for Maddie's letter to arrive. I kept asking and asking, but her answer was always no, nothing had come for her.

After weeks and weeks of this, I realized that Maddie's letter might not come until fall, a little while before she turned eleven. So when nothing came that year, I still had hope.

I left for Hogwarts at the end of summer. It was sad, saying goodbye, but I knew I'd see Maddie again soon.

In the meantime, we wrote to each other. I wasn't sure at first how we would manage it, being that Hogwarts doesn't get muggle mail as far as I know. But, after sending Dobby to do a little research, I realized that I could just use the mailbox in front of our house. My parents never checked it, as they knew even less than me about the muggle mail system. So I told Maddie to just leave letters in our box and our "butler" would send them, that way she wouldn't have to pay postage. My letters I sent to Dobby by owl, and he got them to Maddie.

Before I left, Maddie had made me promise to write her often so that she would know about "all the trouble I was getting into". I agreed, and so for the first few months of school, we wrote letters to each other nearly every day.

During the year, we grew apart. After those first months, I became so wrapped up in wizardry and Maddie was so busy with school that we weren't able to talk as often. We talked less and less, and didn't even see each other at Christmas because Maddie's family went to her grandparents' in Wales. By the end of the year, we hardly talked at all.

Still, when I came home and saw Maddie again, we reconnected quickly. It was like old times. Every moment that I wasn't practicing to be a seeker, I was with Maddie.

Of course, there was one problem. One big problem.

Maddie still hadn't gotten her Hogwarts letter.

I asked about it in every letter I sent her during my first year. She should have gotten word of her acceptance by her 11th birthday in November. Most witches and wizards did. But then I thought perhaps it would come later, closer to summer. I pestered her every day, asking if she'd gotten a letter from Hogwarts yet. She knew the name of the school because I'd been worried that even after she got her letter, Maddie might not tell me because she wouldn't know whether I was a wizard.

After months of waiting, it was suddenly time to go back to school. I didn't accept the truth until the day before I had to get on the Hogwarts Express, but I finally had to face the inevitable.

Maddie was no witch. She didn't have magic and she wasn't going to Hogwarts.

Maddie was a muggle.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to come to terms with. It made me angry; I felt like I'd been tricked somehow. I can't fully express in words what it was like. Maddie had been my best friend, and I found out that she was one of the people that my family despised the most. That I despised. I felt almost betrayed, like she should've told me, but of course it wasn't her fault.

I'd allowed myself to be friends with Maddie for years, believing she had to be a witch. But I was wrong. I wanted to hate Maddie. She was a muggle- I hated muggles. But after so long, I just couldn't. I tried to. I wrote a list of all the things I always hated about Maddie, thought about how much I'd despised her before we'd become friends. I even sent Dobby to egg Maddie's house a few times, but my heart wasn't in it. I think I was mad at myself more than anything.

Maddie still left letters in our box that year, but I told Dobby to throw them away. I never wrote her, and eventually, the letters stopped coming, or so Dobby told me. I never really looked.

The following summer, Maddie would come over to my house every few days, carrying the football I'd given her for her ninth birthday. She would stand out in my front yard for a long time, but always left without knocking on the door. I never did know why. I suppose she thought if I wanted to see her, I would come out. Besides, she knew how much my father would disapprove of her coming over.

After a while, Maddie stopped coming. Sometimes I'd see her pass by the house, pausing like she wanted to stay, but always continuing on. There was a part of me that wanted her to stop, to come back and be my friend again.

I shut that part up. I took those thoughts and shoved them into a shoebox, burying it far back into my mind. I began to nurture a deep hatred for muggles and mudbloods. I stoked the fire that my father had started, willing the flames to rise. It was surprisingly easy with Maddie out of the picture.

And so ended our friendship.

The friendship that should never have happened, but somehow did.

…

 **REVIEW!**

 **Apologies for the lack of dialog, I just wanted to cover everything and it didn't fit in.**

 **Next is "** _ **PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_ **". It's about to get interesting, folks. Stay tuned.**


	7. 2-1 Everte Statum

**This takes place right after Draco's fifth year (HP & the Order of the Phoenix). Being that Voldemort's return was just discovered and Lucius Malfoy was arrested, I would guess that the Ministry, still being uncorrupted, would be watching Malfoy Manor. Therefore, Voldemort and the Death Eaters would be stationed somewhere more obscure until Dumbledore's defeat and/or the fall of the Ministry. **

…

 _ **PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Charms are spells that alter an object's inherent qualities, such as its behavior or capabilities. Charms change what an object is doing (as opposed to transfigurations, which change what an object is).**_

…

 _2.1 EVERTE STATUM_

 _Everte Statum is a spell used to throw a victim backward._

…

Five years after I began attending Hogwarts, things couldn't have been more different for me.

Voldemort came back and my father served him just like before. But because he was a Death Eater, my father was thrown into Azkaban. Voldemort made no move to break him out. He was angry at my father because he had failed. My mother began attending Death Eater proceedings to make up for the loss of my father, and I think she hoped that it would cause our family to be on Voldemort's good side, though I'm not sure he had such a thing.

Because my mother was so often gone and my father was in prison, I knew I'd be spending most of the summer between my fifth and sixth years alone. It wasn't what I would've liked, but I could get by.

But then came my birthday.

Ever since I could remember, by birthday had been celebrated with lavish parties and gifts. My parents had always spoiled me, showering me with presents. I loved the attention, and they loved giving it.

But on June 5th, the day I turned 16, I was alone. I got up and ate a bowl of corn flakes instead of the elaborate meal my mother used to fix me. Instead of playing games with my father, I washed the dishes. The elaborate party I would normally have was replaced with hours of endless silence.

It was terrible, and I don't think I have ever felt as alone as I did that morning.

But then, as I was staring aimlessly out our front window, something caught my eye. A tall girl with blonde hair was carrying a cardboard box toward our house. Though it had been nearly four years since we'd last spoken, I recognized her instantly.

Madeleine Carpenter.

I stared for a long time, trying to think of why on earth she would be at my house. No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't come up with a reason.

Maddie stopped in the front yard and looked at the door. After a while, she walked up to it. She hesitated there, her hand poised to knock, but must have decided against it. She walked off, leaving the box on our doorstep.

I just acted without thinking. Swinging the door open, I called out, "Maddie?"

She turned around, blushing a little when she realized I'd caught her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked curiously.

"I wanted to tell you happy birthday," she replied.

That was not the answer I'd expected. Among other things, I found it surprising that Maddie even remembered my birthday.

"Oh. Then why didn't you?"

"I just did," remarked Maddie.

I looked down into the box next to me. Inside was a football **(A/N: soccer ball)** , colored green and silver. I leaned down and picked it up.

"What's this?" I asked Maddie.

"It's a gift."

"I don't get it."

"It's a football. You know, we used to play together. Those are your favorite colors, right?"

"Well yeah, but… since when do you care about my birthday?"

Maddie shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I was bored. Hey, do you feel like going to see a movie? I really want to watch that one… what's it called? Oh yeah- _Mission: Impossible_." **(A/N: It's June 1996 so** _ **Mission: Impossible**_ **would be in theaters.)**

It seemed like this had to be a trick, but looking at Maddie, she seemed genuine.

Maybe it was because of that, or maybe I was just lonely, but for some reason, I said, "Okay."

Maddie grinned and together, we went to the cinema nearby. It wasn't something I did often, as movies were more of a muggle thing, but it ended up being really fun. By the end of the film, I found myself laughing with Maddie like we were old friends, which I suppose we were.

Of course, Maddie and I had changed a lot since primary school. And I don't just mean that we matured mentally. We quite literally grew up. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful Maddie had become, and kept stealing glances at her. I was kind of ashamed that I was so attracted to her- after all, she was a muggle- but I couldn't stop the feelings I had towards her. And it wasn't just her looks; it was everything. All the things I'd admired about her when we were young were just as present as they'd been before, if not more so. Maddie was as bold and talented as ever.

She told me that she'd gotten into graffiti and showed me one of the places that she'd tagged. Normally, I thought of graffiti as simple vandalism, but Maddie's graffiti was a work of art. There was a moment when I was looking at it that I just felt this pull towards her. I looked over at her and found that she had been watching me. We both turned away in embarrassment, quickly deciding to move on.

We played some football at Maddie's house after that. Her little brother played referee, and called us out constantly, for really no reason. He was ten then, and just as wily as his sister had been. I felt a pang, knowing that he, just like Maddie, would turn eleven without a Hogwarts letter.

Still, I had tons of fun with them. I'd forgotten how much I'd loved playing football. When the game was over (I lost by a lot), I ate dinner with Maddie. Her parents were in a meeting, and her brother went to a birthday party, so we had the house to ourselves. I'd tried to go home, but Maddie insisted on making me dinner there so I wouldn't have to eat alone. My willpower was pretty far depleted at that point, so I didn't put up much of a fight.

We ate fettuccini alfredo, which happened to be my favorite dish, though I can't imagine how Maddie knew that. After that, we raided the kitchen and walked back to my house with a bunch of biscuits **(A/N: cookies)**.

On the way home, I found that I was not the only one stealing glances. Every once in a while, I would catch Maddie turning just slightly to look at me. I tried to ignore it because thinking about it made my cheeks heat up and I really wanted to avoid that.

Finally, we got to my house, and I was sad to see the day come to a close. It was the most spontaneous thing I'd done in a long while, and Maddie had saved me from a really terrible birthday.

"Thanks," I told her, rather than saying goodbye.

She shrugged it off. "It was no big deal. I honestly just wanted someone to go to the movies with."

I knew that wasn't true, but I didn't press it. Instead, I said, "I'm sorry I ignored you for so long. I guess I got sort of caught up in other things."

"It's okay," Maddie told me, "I knew it wouldn't last forever. I just decided to wait it out."

My heart thudded against my chest.

Impulsively, I leaned forward to kiss Maddie, and before I could think to stop it, our lips met.

For a long, wondrous moment, I forgot that Maddie was a muggle. The kiss felt right, and I never wanted it to end.

But then the moment ended and I remembered why I must never ever kiss Madeleine Carpenter.

I reeled backwards, panicked. Maddie looked a little stunned, though I'm not sure if it was because I kissed her or because I stopped.

"I've got to… to go… bye…" I stuttered, heart racing.

I stumbled inside the door and slammed it shut, horrified.

"Bloody hell," I muttered to an empty house, "What did I just do?"

…

 **YAYYY! Now it begins… :)**

 **Also, I'm sorry about all the in-text A/Ns. I'll try not to do that so much in the future.**

 **REVIEW!**


	8. 2-2 Colloportus

_**PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Charms are spells that alter an object's inherent qualities, such as its behavior or capabilities. Charms change what an object is doing (as opposed to transfigurations, which change what an object is).**_

…

 _2.2 COLLOPORTUS_

 _Colloportus (the Locking Charm) is a spell used to lock doors and windows._

…

After the kiss, I wandered around my house, freaking out.

"Stupid, stupid hormones…" I groaned. "Why'd she have to be so… ugh!"

I was frustrated with my lack of conviction. I mean, I believed in pureblood supremacy, just as I always had. I believed in Voldemort's plan to rid the world of muggles and mud-bloods. Of course I did. Those beliefs were a part of my identity. An inherited trait, just like my white blond hair.

So how, then, could I allow myself to kiss a muggle?

I supposed it was mostly because I hadn't associated Maddie with that particular label. Before we were friends, I had, but after we became friends, I had believed (or hoped) that she had magic, so I didn't think of her as a muggle. It wasn't until my second year that I knew for sure that she was a muggle, and by then we barely saw each other anyways.

When we were friends, I got to know Maddie as a person without her being a "muggle" to me. I grew to love her personality and, though it had been years since we last spoke, I still did.

"Why couldn't she just be a witch?" I complained, casting a curse at a vase in the kitchen. The vase shattered and, with a sigh, I sent a mending charm over to it.

Truth was, I couldn't blame my actions on hormones because I really did like Maddie. She was beautiful, of course, but her looks were just a consolation prize to her personality. In some way, it did make sense for me to like Maddie. But at the same time, there was no explanation good enough to make crushing on a muggle okay.

Ironically, one of my favorite things about Maddie was the fact that she didn't really make sense; she was a walking contradiction. A popular girl, but also a delinquent. Ridiculously beautiful, but superbly intelligent. An artist and an athlete. Of course, these combinations do happen, but they aren't common, and for her to have all of them…

I shook my head to derail my train of thought. I needed to think about something else, but my mind kept going back to Maddie.

The idea that Maddie and I could be even just friends was laughable, and us being romantically involved was even more so. It could never happen. Not with my father. Not with how close my family was to Voldemort. Not with this war.

I briefly wondered if Voldemort would keep any muggles alive. Perhaps as servants? Would he ever consider letting one go free?

I should have dismissed the idea immediately, but I felt like I should look into it further. If I could get on Voldemort's good side, perhaps he might pardon Maddie? If not, I supposed I could help her escape, though I wasn't sure where to.

It seemed like such a waste. How could I let someone as special as Maddie die?

It struck me then what Voldemort's plan really entailed. Death. Killing. It's not that I hadn't known about that before, I just hadn't really thought about it. I wasn't sure that I really wanted to be a part of that. However much I hated muggles and mud-bloods, I didn't really want them all to die.

Gone, yes.

Dead, no.

Couldn't the Death Eaters could send all the muggles elsewhere? I guessed that Voldemort wouldn't be particularly fond of that idea. I wondered, if I were to save Maddie, what kind of favor I'd have to do for Voldemort. Nothing good.

If it came to it, would I really be able to kill? Could I kill someone so that she could live? I wasn't sure.

"What am I supposed to do?" I yelled at nothing. "How can I save her? How can I save just one and let all the others die?"

I screamed and cast another curse at the vase.

My family was already on uncertain terms with Voldemort. At that point, I wasn't even sure he'd let US live, let alone a muggle girl.

All of this… it was just too dangerous to think about. I wanted to stuff all of my thoughts, all my doubts, and all my fears into a box that I'd lock up forever. But I couldn't do that.

I reminded myself that I had to keep my family safe first, and then I could worry about Maddie. I couldn't entertain any thoughts about her until I knew my own fate.

I would have to put whatever it was that I felt for her on hold.

I could do that. Hopefully.

…

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	9. 2-3 Reparifarge

_**PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Charms are spells that alter an object's inherent qualities, such as its behavior or capabilities. Charms change what an object is doing (as opposed to transfigurations, which change what an object is).**_

…

 _2.3 REPARIFARGE_

 _Reparifarge is a spell used to reverse unsuccessful transformations/spells._

…

The next day, I went to Maddie's house. My stomach was twisting and knotting up, but I took deep breaths and tried to ignore it.

Maddie answered the door right away. I could tell she'd been up for a few hours, though it was only 8.

"Draco?" she asked curiously, almost hopefully.

"Hi."

She smiled at me, "What's up?"

I shifted back and forth a bit, then hesitantly said, "I wanted to… apologize. For yesterday."

She looked confused.

"For… kissing you," I clarified, avoiding her eyes.

"What?" she asked, sounding even more confused and definitely hurt.

I felt sick. I kept telling myself that I had to do it, but that didn't make it any easier. Despite what people might think, I really hated lying, especially to people I cared about. I wished that I could just go back in time so we'd never kissed in the first place.

I took a deep breath. "I wasn't thinking straight. I don't… I don't really think of you that way. I didn't mean to let things get so far out of hand."

"You are such an arse."

I looked up at her, trying to figure out what I was supposed to say. "I'm… I'm sorry?" I stuttered weakly.

"You and I both know what you're doing right now."

"Yeah? And what's that?" I asked defensively.

Maddie narrowed her vibrant hazel eyes. " _Lying_."

I just stared.

"Come on, Draco. I know you're lying. What I don't know is why."

"I'm not lying!" I protested.

Maddie glared at me. Then, she suddenly leapt forward, grabbing my shoulders in a vice-like grip. And she kissed me with a ferocity that floored me.

My brain was overloading with a storm of thoughts. The logical part of me was screaming to get away and stop this before the situation got even worse. But logical thought was lost to the part of me that wanted this, that needed this, and I sunk into Maddie's kiss. Almost of their own volition, my lips began to move against hers, and my arms itched to pull her close.

Finally, reality and logic returned to me. I panicked and shoved Maddie away.

She looked stunned, but I probably did too.

I lived my life distant from most other people; I didn't really form attachments. But Maddie and I had a history. She was the only person I'd ever really cared about outside of my family. After I found out she was a muggle and our friendship fell apart, I sort of closed myself off. Now I was standing with Maddie again and it was like nothing had changed, except that I felt more than friendship toward her.

My feelings were terrifying me, and I was losing my hold on them.

"I can't," I said, my voice shaking.

A flicker of understanding crossed Maddie's gaze. She took my hand, entwining out fingers.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked gently.

My heart was thumping wildly. What was I supposed to say?

"I can't," I repeated feebly.

"Draco, please," Maddie said, looking almost worried. "What's going on? Is it your dad?"

"My father's… in prison," I admitted.

Maddie's mouth opened in surprise. "Oh my God. Are you okay?"

I found it odd that she wanted to know how _I_ was, not why my father was in jail.

"I'm alright, I guess. It gets lonely sometimes."

Maddie squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry."

I sighed. "My father would disown me for this, being with you. And it feels… wrong."

Maddie looked crushed.

Hurriedly, I told her, "I didn't mean it like that. It's just that my whole life, I was taught to hate m-people like you. It feels like I'm betraying everything my family believes, everything my father stood for. And I know he's in prison, but he's still my father and I want him to be proud of me."

"My family," Maddie said carefully, "has never been the biggest fan of your family. But when we became friends and they got to know you, they didn't mind you so much. Do you think, if they met me, your parents would ever change their minds?"

I shook my head, "No. My father is too stubborn. He's set in his ways, and I don't think he'll ever change. My mother just goes along with him; she never listens to me."

"That must be awful."

I shrugged. Then I added quietly, "I shouldn't feel this way about you. I don't know what to do."

I glanced down at our linked hands.

"You know, I've had a crush on you since we were ids. I just never had the guts to say anything."

I lifted my head and met her eyes.

"I'm not gonna tell you what to do, Draco. But I will say this. For the past five years, I've wondered what might have happened if I told you how I felt. The wondering was torture. Now, I can't imagine how much worse it would be- for both of us- knowing we could've had something and not doing anything about it."

I thought that over. I was so conflicted at the moment, I really couldn't think straight. One thing I kept hearing over and over.

 _Things are changing._

And it was certainly true. My life was changing as the Dark Lord began his rise to power. The world would soon see its fair share of change as well.

Maybe I could change too.

"I think I'd like to take you out sometime," I said decisively.

Maddie smiled brightly.

"I think I'd like that."

…

 **REVIEW!**


	10. 2-4 Orchideous

_**PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Charms are spells that alter an object's inherent qualities, such as its behavior or capabilities. Charms change what an object is doing (as opposed to transfigurations, which change what an object is).**_

…

 _2.4 ORCHIDEOUS_

 _Orchideous is a spell used to make a bouquet of flowers appear out of the caster's wand._

…

Dating was a bit of a foreign concept to me. Previously, it had seemed slow and tedious, not to mention trivial. With Maddie, though, I saw it as an opportunity to spend time with someone and really get to know them.

Our first date wasn't exactly original; I asked Maddie to dinner.

I wasn't entirely sure what to wear. I owned little muggle clothing, most of which was t-shirts and jeans. I ended up going shopping and buying a green and black plaid button-up shirt, which I wore with a dark pair of jeans that I already owned. I bought a few other shirts and things as well, since it seemed I'd be spending a lot of time with Maddie.

When I went to pick Maddie up, I was overwhelmed with nerves. My hand itched to grab my wand and conjure up flowers, but of course, I was still underage.

Maddie was waiting outside, wearing a jean jacket over a soft blue tank top with a knee-length white skirt. Her face lit up when she saw me.

"Draco!" she shouted happily. She jogged over, and we stood next to each other awkwardly for a moment before she leaned forward and hugged me.

We walked to the restaurant together, Maddie supplying most of the conversation. Since I'd spent the past few years learning magic, there wasn't much I could tell her about. However, as the night went on, I was able to relax, and found it easier to participate in the conversation. I discovered a lot of simple ways to talk about Hogwarts while leaving out the parts about magic.

Maddie was fascinated when I described our "field trips" to Hogsmeade, and loved all my stories about Zonko's Joke Shop. I wished I could take her there.

Regardless of my need to keep so much of my life secret, we had a great time together. And at the end of the night, Maddie gave me a kiss.

…

Our second date was a little more unique.

While I'd been shopping for muggle clothes, I'd picked up a newspaper out of curiosity. I'd skimmed through most of it without finding anything interesting, but one particular article had caught my eye. Apparently, there was an art exhibit in town, and the artist himself was teaching a free pottery class.

I'd immediately gone to a payphone and called the class coordinator from the article. Fortunately, there were a few spots left in the class, and I was able to reserve two for Maddie and I.

Maddie was absolutely delighted when I invited her, and I was rewarded with several excited kisses. Then she took my hand and practically skipped there with me. My smile couldn't have been wider.

The pottery class was first, and even though art wasn't exactly my area of expertise, it was actually pretty fun. Our hands got coated in clay as we shaped simple pots on a wheel. Mine was fat with a big lip, and it was a little lopsided, but not a total failure. Maddie's was thinner, more elegant. When we finished, all the pots were placed in a kiln and we were released to look at the artist's work.

I admit, I probably paid more attention to Maddie than the actual art. The wonder and awe on her face was far more precious to me than anything an artist could create.

After we'd perused everything, we took a break for lunch, then returned to get our finished pots, which were still a little warm. The artist encouraged us to stay and paint them, so we did. Maddie covered hers in spiraling shades of blue, like Van Gogh's "Starry Night". I painted my own pot with green and silver stripes, adding black details around the bottom, neck, and lip.

"Not bad," Maddie remarked with a smile. I grinned back at her.

We walked outside to kill a little time while the paint dried, and I pulled Maddie into a kiss, a real one.

"Thank you," she murmured against my lips.

"For what?"

"For giving this a chance."

…

After our second date, Maddie and I started spending a lot more time together. My mother was rarely around to notice how often I was gone.

Sometimes, Maddie and I went out for a meal, or to see a movie, but we often just hung out around her house. I thought about inviting her into the manor, but there were so many magical items that I doubted it would work.

One day, as I was puzzling over that exact problem, Maddie showed up at my door.

"Hey, Draco! So the referee for the match today is sick and I was wondering if you'd mind stepping in?"

Maddie was an assistant coach for a little league football **(A/N: soccer)** team, which had games every Saturday. I'd been to a few practices, and Maddie and I had played one-on-one a few times, so I was familiar with the rules.

"I guess I could… I don't know how well I'll do."

She shrugged, "It's a bunch of seven year-old girls and their parents. Low stakes. You'll do fine."

I was a little hesitant, but agreed regardless.

Maddie gave me the referee uniform and said she'd meet me there, as she had to get there early. I dressed quickly, and put on a pair of black Converse. I was worried that I'd be late, so I ended up leaving my hair rather messy.

For good luck, I brought the football Maddie had given me for my birthday, and let the kids use that instead of the traditional black and white ball. They seemed pretty excited about it.

I didn't have to do much besides keep track of which team had the ball before it went off the field. It was a close game, but Maddie's team ended up winning by one last-minute goal.

Everyone went out for pizza afterward, and Maddie invited me along. I wasn't much of a kid person, but I have to admit it was entertaining to see all the little girls so excited about their victory.

When the celebratory lunch was over, I walked Maddie home.

"You know," she said with a somewhat sly grin, "I like your hair like that."

I cocked my head at her, a little confused.

"You always slick it back, but I you should really leave it natural more often." Maddie ran her fingers through my hair. "It's really soft."

I felt my face heat up a little, and Maddie laughed, pressing her lips to mine. Her hands were still threaded in my hair.

…

The most exciting date we went on wasn't one that either of us planned.

Since I'd spent so much time at Maddie's house, I'd gotten to know her family a little bit. They were good people, and they were very kind to me. Her parents seemed happy that I made their daughter happy. I didn't really feel like I deserved their kindness, but I was grateful.

A few weeks after we started dating, they gave Maddie two concert tickets that they happened to find for a good deal. While it wasn't said out loud, she knew the second one was for me. I was honored by the gesture.

The concert was in London, and it was a band called The Who. **(A/N: The Who actually did play a concert in London on June 29, 1996)** I'd never heard of them before, but Maddie was a big fan, so I figured they had to be good.

I had to ask Maddie what I should wear, and she told me to dress casual, so I wore jeans and a burgundy t-shirt. I stared at my hair for a minute and ran a hand through it, before deciding to leave it as it was.

Maddie wore jean shorts and a black tank top. Her hair was in a ponytail, long blonde hair hanging down in wild curls. Her mother and father offered to drive us, and Maddie's little brother Bennett came too.

Bennett and Maddie didn't look much alike. His hair was a dark auburn and his eyes were a bright green. Still, the boy reminded me of Maddie when she was younger.

Bennett was apparently a genius of sorts. Though he was only ten, he was about to enter year seven. I talked to him during the car ride, and he told me that he wanted to be a doctor so that he could help people. That made me smile.

We finally got to Hyde Park, the concert venue, and waved goodbye to Maddie's parents.

The concert was amazing. It was pretty hot in the crowd, but we managed. A ways into the night, Maddie and I found a little space to dance, which was pretty great.

Seeing Maddie so delighted always made me happy. She had a beautiful laugh, too, and whenever she really laughed her eyes scrunched up on the sides in the most adorable way. Being with her made it easy to forget how awful the world was becoming.

When we finally got back home, it was pretty late. Bennett was asleep on the car window, so I had to climb over Maddie to get out. She pecked me on the lips as I slid out of the car, and I winked at her in a rather uncharacteristic way. I was on a sort of high from the night, and felt almost giddy. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to fall asleep.

When I walked in the door, my mother suddenly appeared. Not appeared as in apparated, she just showed up all of a sudden and caught me off guard.

"Draco! Where on earth have you been- I was worried!"

And my high dissipated. Up until that point, I hadn't seen much of my mother, so I'd been able to maintain a relationship with Maddie as well as a semblance of normalcy at home.

"Nowhere," I muttered, hoping she wouldn't push the issue. I'd had such a great night and I didn't want to spoil it with an argument.

I started walking towards my room. My mother followed.

"Don't tell me you were nowhere, because you had to be somewhere."

I sighed, but didn't reply.

"Draco! Listen to me when I'm talking to you!"

I ignored her.

"DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL NIGHT?"

"None of your business!" I snapped back. Having reached my room, I stepped inside and slammed the door. "Leave me alone!"

I hoped my mother would let this go, or that I could find a good explanation. Otherwise, I doubted Maddie and I would get to spend much time together for a while.

…

 **Sorry if Narcissa's a little OOC. I did my best, but she still kind of sounds like Molly Weasely to me. Oh well. It could be worse.**

 **REVIEW!**


	11. 2-5 Muffliato

**Last chapter of Part 2! I apologize for the length and also the lateness. I'll be posting two chapters on Saturday (I'm going camping, so I can't post on Friday). Anyway, enjoy! This is one of my favorite chapters.**

…

 _ **PART 2: Charm (Romance with a Muggle)**_

 _ **Charms are spells that alter an object's inherent qualities, such as its behavior or capabilities. Charms change what an object i doing (as opposed to transfigurations, which change what an object is).**_

…

 _2.5 MUFFLIATO_

 _Muffliato is a spell used to prevent people from hearing nearby conversations by filling their ears with an unidentifiable buzzing._

…

My mother's watchful eyes stalled my relationship with Maddie for about a week, but then we were right back where we left off, spending every moment together. From that point on, though, I was a little more careful to avoid my mother's suspicions. Maddie didn't seem to mind sneaking around.

One day, when I was came home from watching a movie at Maddie's house, my mother was waiting for me just inside the manor.

I was about to give her my cover story, which was that I went on a walk because I was bored, but the look on her face stopped me. My mother didn't look scared often, but that's how she looked then.

"What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath, "The Dark Lord has asked to meet with you personally. I'm to take you to him straightaway."

Suddenly I couldn't breathe. The Dark Lord wanted to see me? This couldn't end well.

That explained the fear in my mother's eyes.

"What an honor," I murmured, as if he were listening to us right then.

My mother took a shuddering breath and extended her hand. I took it and we disapparated.

We appeared in a dark house with creaky floorboards. I didn't recognize it.

There was a door in front of us, and I knew that was where he was. I could almost feel it, the hatred and the anger. Evil in its purest form.

Why had my father allied himself with this?

I gulped and followed my mother to the door. She rapped on it three times, and then the door swung inward. Someone stepped out… Professor Snape? I hadn't realized he was a Death Eater.

"Come in," I heard a slippery smooth voice say.

I braced myself and stepped inside, followed closely by my mother.

"Ah, the young Draco Malfoy. I admit I'd begun to think you weren't coming."

He was horrifying to look at. His eyes were bloodred, his skin white as paper. And his nose, or lack thereof, was gruesome. It made me sick to look at him, and I couldn't meet his eyes. I looked toward my mother, who seemed to be focused on a spot just to the right of the Dark Lord. I mimicked her gaze.

"What is it you wish?" my mother asked hesitantly.

"I would like to offer your son a tremendous honor." He turned and addressed me directly, "Your father always seemed quite proud of your accomplishments. So, naturally, I thought of you for this task."

No. Oh God, no.

"A task?" I asked.

"Indeed, young Malfoy. I need a spy of sorts at Hogwarts."

I wondered what Snape was, then, if not a spy. But of course I didn't ask.

"I would like to induct you as a Death Eater."

I heard my mother's gasp. I struggled to suppress my own reaction. A Death Eater? I could only imagine what I'd have to do for him. The kind of awful deeds I might have to carry out.

"Would you like that?"

No.

"I would be honored."

I saw him grin, and he beckoned me forward. I approached him with trepidation. He was sitting in a grand sort of chair that made me think of a throne.

"Your arm," he said pointedly.

I held out my left arm and hoped it wasn't shaking. The Dark Lord pressed his want to it harshly, and I winced. Then my arm was burning. It felt like it was on fire. I wanted to scream, but all I could do was stare as the black lines formed on my forearm.

Receiving the Dark Mark was a great honor among the Death Eaters. My father was one of few that had one. My mother never got one. I certainly didn't want it, but what could I do?

Finally the image was completed and the Dark Lord lifted his wand. I let my arm fall to my side. It hurt like hell.

Meanwhile, I could feel my mother's suffering at my side. She was dying to protest this, but bit her lip and remained silent.

"Now Draco, I have a very important task for you to complete. It will make you the greatest among my ranks."

"Anything, my lord," I forced from my mouth.

"I want you to kill Albus Dumbledore."

What?

"The headmaster at that school is a threat, and I need you to dispose of him. It may be of great benefit to you to enlist the assistance of some of my other followers. I'm sure you can find a way to get them into Hogwarts. Your father always bragged of your resourcefulness."

I felt my mother stiffen at my side.

"Will you do this for me?" he finished.

But of course he wasn't asking. You can't just tell the Dark Lord no.

"Of course."

The Dark Lord grinned harshly and released us. We left the room and my mother apparated us home.

"Oh, Draco!" she choked out when we materialized. She tried to pull me into a hug, but I shoved her away roughly. My mind was spinning.

"Leave me alone."

I stalked off and shut myself in my room. I crumbled to the floor, shaking my head.

"No. No, this can't be happening."

I kept expecting to wake up and find that it had all been a dream, but it wasn't. I felt like I was going to throw up.

This had nothing to do with me. This was revenge. I realized that almost immediately.

My father had failed the Dark Lord and he wound up in Azkaban. The Dark Lord could break him out without any trouble, but my father was being punished for his failure. I supposed I was just another part of that punishment.

The Dark Lord didn't think I would succeed. He wanted me to fail. In fact, he was counting on it.

And when I did…

I shuddered to think of what that would entail. My death, perhaps. My mother's. Or perhaps a long string of torture for us both. I imagined he'd let my father rot in Azkaban with that knowledge.

I couldn't fail. I wouldn't allow myself to. My family depended on this.

But how could I kill someone?

It wasn't like I ever cared much for Dumbledore, but I didn't want to kill him. I wasn't a murderer.

I pushed those thoughts from my mind and focused instead on how I could get the Death Eaters into Hogwarts. It was a challenge, a seemingly impossible challenge, but I would find a way.

Suddenly, I thought of Maddie. I cringed.

Clearly I was going to have to end our relationship. I needed to focus on my task. I couldn't afford… distractions.

Though, I wondered whether the Dark Lord would spare her if I did succeed. I clung to the hope that he would, that even though one life would end, another would be saved.

…

It was a few days before I got up the courage to talk to Maddie. Since we were trying to keep our relationship a secret from my mother, she didn't come to get me. Still, I knew if I completely vanished she'd come knocking eventually.

I went over to her house with my stomach in knots.

She answered right away and smiled, going to kiss me hello. I moved out of the way.

Maddie frowned.

"Can we talk?" I asked, avoiding her eyes.

"Sue, Draco," she said, concern evident in her voice.

I led her away from the house, to the curb. It was a quiet neighborhood, so I was fairly certain we wouldn't be interrupted or overheard. I sat down heavily, Maddie sitting down beside me.

I took a few minutes to review what I wanted to say.

"Maddie… this summer has been amazing. You've been there for me, and even though I didn't realize it, I needed that. I wouldn't change a thing, I really wouldn't."

I glanced at her face, which was a mixture of flattered and worried.

"The thing is, school starts up in another few weeks. And I've… got some things I need to do. There's this thing I need to work on, and I really need to focus on that. And it's not something you can help with. It's not something anyone can help with. I just need to be alone."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Maddie asked blatantly, but I could sense she was hurt.

"I still care about you. I just… I'm not in a place where I can… I just can't right now. I'm sorry."

Maddie took a moment to think. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"No. But it's something I need. I wish it could be different."

I guess something in my tone told Maddie how serious I was, and so she simply said, "Me too."

She stood up and walked back into her house. I walked back to my own house feeling like a deflated balloon. Just as I'd been doing the past few days, I shut myself in my room.

I rubbed my Dark Mark, which was still sore. And then I did something I hadn't yet allowed myself to do. I broke down and cried.

My door had a Muffliato spell on it, so it was virtually soundproof. For that I was grateful.

I sobbed until there were no tears left for me to shed. I cried myself hoarse.

But it didn't make me feel any better.

I doubted anything could.

…

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 **Next is "** _ **PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)**_ **".**


	12. 3-1 Harmonia Nectere Passus

**This chapter is the polar opposite of the last one- in that it's very short. I promise the next one will be better.**

…

 ** _PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)_**

 ** _Hexes are another minor dark magic (worse than jinxes but not as bad as curses); they consistently affect an object in a negative manner, causing major inconvenience to the target._**

…

 _3.1 HARMONIA NECTERE PASSUS_

 _Harmonia Nectere Passus is a spell used to repair Vanishing Cabinets._

…

I didn't start the school year very good.

By September 1st, I'd come up with a plan, but I knew I was going to need some help. I figured Crabbe and Goyle would help, but just in case, I talked to a few of the other Slytherins about it. I didn't tell them much except that I'd been chosen for an important task, and I showed them my Dark Mark as proof of my status among the Death Eaters. They were impressed, as I knew they'd be. And, naturally, they jumped at the chance to be part of something so big.

However, I soon realized my least favorite wizard, Harry Potter, was spying on me. I wasn't sure how much he heard, though I doubted he heard anything too incriminating. Still, I didn't handle it well.

I was angry at him. It was, in my mind, Potter's fault that my father was in prison. And, by extension, it was he who got my family into this whole mess and forced me to plan such a horrible deed.

So I beat him up.

It was unfair, sure. And I felt bad about it later. But at the time, I didn't even think about it.

Potter was fine; one of his friends probably fixed him up. I didn't talk to him much after that. Usually, I'd spend some time throughout the year messing with him, but I didn't have time for our rivalry. I didn't have time for much of anything, actually. I quit quiddich, handed my spot to some other Slytherin, and neglected most of my Prefect duties.

I devoted myself entirely to my task. I had to. My life and the lives of my parents depended on it.

After almost two months, though, I hadn't made any progress. I'd uttered the repair spell a hundred thousand times and still the cabinet shredded everything I put into it.

I was getting worried. What if the cabinet could never be fixed? What would I do?

 _Perhaps I'd have to think of something else._ It was while I was sitting in the Room of Requirement, uttering "Harmonia Nectere Passus," over and over again, that I finally came to that realization.

"This is hopeless," I muttered to myself. And then, I shouted it, knowing no one would hear. "This is HOPELESS!"

I plopped down on the floor, leaning my head against the cabinet where I'd carved Maddie's initials. Having them there reminded me why I was doing this. That way, when I worked on the cabinet, I wouldn't picture Death Eaters storming through it, I'd just think of her and how much I wanted to see her again.

There were times I wished she were with me so I could ask for her help. She was clever, very clever, and I imagined that if she were a witch, she would've already solved the problem.

I sighed. Things would be so different if Maddie was a witch. We would've grown up together at Hogwarts. Perhaps we'd be dating. And maybe, with her at my side, I'd have the courage to defy the Dark Lord.

Not that I knew how I could fight him. I had no idea how to even begin to do that. But I knew that another man, a better man, would at least try to do the right thing.

But, as it was, I knew I'd do just what he asked of me. There's a reason I wasn't sorted into Gryffindor or Ravenclaw or Slytherin.

Slytherins aren't brave. They aren't smart. They aren't loyal.

Slytherins are cunning and crafty. We know how to read people and how to manipulate them. We can be creative sometimes, and we can be good.

But Slytherins are also cowards. And I was no exception. I wouldn't-couldn't- think about defiance. Even though it was probably the right thing to do, I was afraid. Afraid of failure. Afraid that I would doom everyone I loved. I felt I had a better chance of succeeding in my task than I did of finding another way, so I shut away my conscience and forced myself to move forward with the task.

…

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	13. 3-2 Imperio

**Sorry these two are up late! My camping trip went a little longer than I expected, but after this, everything will be back on track. Enjoy!**

…

 ** _PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)_**

 ** _Hexes are another minor dark magic (worse than jinxes but not as bad as curses); they consistently affect an object in a negative manner, causing major inconvenience to the target._**

…

 _3.2 IMPERIO_

 _Imperio (the Imperius Curse) is a spell used to control another person's actions._

…

After the Battle of Hogwarts, there were a lot of books written about the war. Some told the truth, some embellished it, but most agreed on the major points.

Harry Potter and his friends became celebrities, as did the remaining members of the Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army.

As for the Malfoys? We were hated- we _are_ hated. The Dark Lord based his operations in our manor, we were among his most trusted followers. We were the bad guys.

I've been asked to do interviews before, but always decline. I don't want to see my life turned into something it's not.

That isn't to say that there aren't accounts of what I did, what my family did. My mother has always been better-liked, because she lied to the Dark Lord and saved Potter's life. As far as I can tell, people are conflicted about me. Some despise me as much as they do my father. Some sympathize with my circumstances, or excuse me because I was just a kid.

"The boy who made all the wrong choices," they called me. But they still don't understand.

I'm not the boy who made all the wrong choices… because I had no choices to make.

I was just a puppet.

I know I didn't try, and I wish that I would have, but the truth is: I didn't stand a chance against the Dark Lord. There's nothing I could've done to fight him except maybe something suicidal. If I hadn't helped him, he would've killed my whole family, and then he'd find someone else to do my task. There was no escaping it. I did the only real thing I could do. I protected my family. Wouldn't anyone?

In doing so, of course, I played right into the Dark Lord's hands, but I had to. Besides, I'd rather be a puppet than the cause of my family's suffering any day.

If that was a choice, I don't think it was the wrong one. And I'd do the same thing again, if I went back.

At the time, I struggled because I felt like there had to be some alternative, some other choice. I was ashamed of myself, so sure I was missing something because I was weak.

I stayed at Hogwarts during Christmas that year. I told myself it was because I had to work on my task, but I knew that wasn't the only reason. I stayed, in part, because I couldn't face home.

I couldn't see my mother without feeling guilty that I hadn't fixed the cabinet yet. I wasn't even close.

And there was Maddie, of course, Knowing how much I was keeping from her and the awful things I had to do… I wasn't sure she'd ever understand.

I thought about Maddie often, actually. Wondered what would happen to her at the end of the war. I tried to imagine what she would say if she found out about magic. It was definitely a better way to pass time than agonizing over the Vanishing Cabinet.

Though, at least I was making some progress. The things I tried to send and bring back still returned with parts gouged out, but they weren't quite as shredded as before. It wasn't much, but it was something. I was hoping that I'd make some decent progress during the holiday. Otherwise, I'd have to consider another alternative, which hadn't worked out well before.

About halfway through the break, I lost track of time and ended up out after curfew. I tried to sneak back into the Slytherin dorms, but I caught sight of Filch's cat and knew he wouldn't be far behind. She hadn't seen me yet, so I darted into the first door I saw. I realized shortly that it was a bathroom, and a girl's bathroom, too.

"Oooh, who are you?" asked a voice, rather high-pitched and somewhat annoying.

I looked in the direction of the voice and saw a female ghost in Hogwarts robes. I guessed she was the muggleborn that had died the first time the Chamber of Secrets had been opened.

I shushed the ghost quickly. She looked upset at that so, knowing how temperamental ghosts could be, I added, "Just for a minute until Filch leaves."

"Will you leave afterwards?" she asked.

I shrugged, answering simply, "If you want me to."

She fell quiet, and after a few minutes of silence, drifted past me and through the wall. I prayed she wasn't alerting Filch to my location.

A moment later, she came back through the wall and announced, "He's gone."

I heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

I turned toward the door and she cried, "Wait!"

I looked back at her questioningly.

"Please don't go."

Though I really wanted to just get to bed, I agreed to stay for a while. I owed her.

"What do you want to know?" I asked, figuring she was interested in what was going on in Hogwarts.

She seemed to consider my question carefully, and then a conniving smile lit her face. "What are you doing out after curfew?"

I gulped and said, "I don't know if I can tell you that."

"I won't tell anyone," she insisted.

I still wasn't convinced it was a good idea, but the thought of finally getting to talk to someone about everything was tempting.

"Okay," I relented. "But you have to be quiet about it. I mean it."

She nodded eagerly.

I bit my lip and told her, "I've been in the Room of Requirement, fixing a Vanishing Cbinet."

The girl's eyes grew big. "A Vanishing Cabinet? How… curious."

"My family's in trouble, and the only way to help my parents is to do this. I wish I didn't have to."

The girl looked intrigued.

"It's…it's not going well," I admitted. "I've barely made any progress and I'm running out of time."

Suddenly, it all spilled out- how conflicted and guilty I felt, how afraid I was to fail.

The ghost girl listened. She didn't judge me or ask for specifics, just listened.

I even told her about Maddie, about how much I missed her and wanted to see her, but that I had to stay away from her to keep her safe.

My heart ached when I finished, but my head felt clearer, having finally said everything aloud.

"I like you," the girl said suddenly.

"What?"

"No one ever talks to me," she explained sadly.

"Oh. Well… you're a good listener."

She beamed.

"Hey, I never got your name," I realized.

"Myrtle."

"Nice to meet you Myrtle. I'm Draco."

Normally, I would've shook her hand, but she was a ghost, so I just waved at her.

"Will you ever come back?" she asked.

"Of course," I said with a smile. And I meant it.

In fact, I visited Myrtle's bathroom often throughout the year. It became my safe haven, I place I could go to get away from my impossible task.

And it was nice to finally have someone to talk to.

…

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	14. 3-3 Expelliarmus

**_PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)_**

 ** _Hexes are another minor dark magic (worse than jinxes but not as bad as curses); they consistently affect an object in a negative manner, causing major inconvenience to the target._**

…

 _3.3 EXPELLIARMUS_

 _Expelliarmus (the Disarming Charm) is a spell used to force an opponent to release whatever they are holding._

…

When the time came to kill Dumbledore, I couldn't do it. Everyone knows that. But they all think it's because I was too scared, or because of the things the headmaster said to me.

I remember every moment of that night. I remember every word Dumbledore said to me.

I looked him in the eye and held my wand out, with every intention of uttering the curse and taking his life. I disarmed him without hesitation, but then I just stood there. I knew what was next, but I honestly doubted I'd ever get that far.

Thinking about doing something and actually doing it are two different things.

Dumbledore kept talking. He was obviously trying to stall, not that I knew why, but I let him do it. I was bitter and angry and afraid, and explaining what I'd done was like a release. Finally, someone besides the ghost in the girl's bathroom knew how hard I'd worked for this, how much time and effort it took to pull it off.

A good while into our meaningless banter, the headmaster said, "Let us discuss your options, Draco."

I was appalled. The questions of how I'd done it hadn't surprised me, nor had the taunts. But this?

" _My_ options? I'm standing here with a wand- I'm about to kill you!"

As I said it, I realized my wand arm was quivering just slightly. I frowned.

"My dear boy, let us have no pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."

He had a point. And yet…

"I haven't got any options! I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"

My arm was beginning to shake violently, the tip of my wand bobbing around almost comically as tears pricked at my eyes.

Dumbledore continued to say that he'd known what I was up to, but couldn't talk to me about it for fear the Dark Lord would find out and hurt me or my family.

"I can help you, Draco," he said gently.

"No, you can't. Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."

Then the headmaster began to tell me how wrong I was, how it wasn't too late. He said that the Order of the Phoenix could protect me and my family. I wanted to believe it, but after feeling for so long that this was my only option, it seemed too good to be true.

"But I got this far, didn't I?" I thought aloud. "They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here… I'm the one with the wand… You're at my mercy…"

Dumbledore looked almost sad right then. His eyes filled with pity.

"No, Draco. It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."

Words had never before, and have never since hit me so hard.

I stood there, not knowing what to do or say, and then something else hit me.

That was something Maddie would say.

My mind was suddenly flooded with images of her. I could picture her hazell eyes breaking with sadness as she watched me, waited for me to kill an innocent man. Dumbledore had told me, time after time, that I wasn't a killer.

He was right. I wasn't a killer. Or at least, I didn't want to be.

Maddie, I realized, would rather die than see me become a murderer.

It was that thought that made me stop. I started to drop my wand arm, heart still pounding.

But by then, it was too late.

The other Death Eaters exploded in through the door and began congratulating me and jeering at the cornered headmaster. Their delight soon wore thin, though, when I still didn't kill Dumbledore.

They urged me to do it, and I almost did. I raised my arm again, but it was shaking so violently that I very well might've hit one of them rather than my target.

Then Snape arrived and shoved me aside. Within minutes, Dumbledore was dead.

…

I left Hogwarts that night with the Death Eaters, head spinning from the events that had unfolded.

One thing was clear to me: I had failed.

And I would be punished.

I hoped that the Dark Lord would be merciful. After all, I'd found a way to get a large group of Death Eaters into Hogwarts, something that had once been considered impossible. And Dumbledore was dead, even though it wasn't my hand that had caused it.

I couldn't decide whether I was proud or ashamed of that. I supposed I should be proud that I hadn't become a killer, but I still felt like I let my family down.

I just hoped they wouldn't suffer for my choice.

…

 **REVIEW!**

 **This chapter is a personal favorite of mine, and I really enjoyed re-reading the book scene. It's a lot different than the movie version, and I like it a bit better, though Tom Felton portrays Draco's inner conflict perfectly in the film. What do you guys think? Do you like one version more than the other?**


	15. 3-4 Alohomora

_**PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Hexes are another minor dark magic (worse than jinxes but not as bad as curses); they consistently affect an object in a negative manner, causing major inconvenience to the target.**_

…

 _3.4 ALOHOMORA_

 _Alohomora (the Unlocking Charm) is a spell used to unlock doors and windows that aren't protected by magic._

…

Ultimately, my actions did cost me the Dark Lord's favor. I and my family fell into his lower ranks. However, he was impressed with what I had managed to do, so he didn't punish us like I thought he would.

In fact, he freed my father from Azkaban, along with a few other Death Eaters. My mother was relieved to have him back again.

Still, I knew we weren't safe. If I were to fail the Dark Lord again, we would find a fate worse than death. Of that, I was certain.

So, in an attempt to redeem myself, to get my family back on the Dark Lord's good side (assuming he had one), I rededicated myself to the cause. Even though I wasn't sure I still believed in it.

I just wanted to make sure nothing happened to my family. And somewhere inside, I thought that if I did well, I still had a shot at saving Maddie.

The things I saw during that time… I'll never recover. What's worse is I participated in some of those things. I didn't kill anyone, sure, but I did torture some. Watching the light dim in their eyes and knowing I was causing it was nothing I can ever really describe. I hated myself. I felt like a monster and I still do sometimes. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to forgive myself for what I did then.

About halfway through July, my father told me I'd been given a brief reprieve from Death Eater duties. Everyone was tied up planning things rather than doing them, and they weren't really interested in any opinions I might have. So they gave me the rest of the month off.

Of course, the Dark Lord himself was living in my home, and Death Eaters cycled through all the time, so it wasn't like I was on vacation or anything. But it was nice to be let off my short leash for a while.

Naturally, the first thing I did was visit Maddie.

Don't get me wrong- I thought it through beforehand. I wasn't totally stupid. I knew it could be risky. But I also knew the Dark Lord was leaving the area surrounding our manor alone to avoid being detected. That wasn't guaranteed to last once he got hold of the ministry, so I had to act sooner rather than later.

I wanted to tell her everything, but couldn't. Besides, she probably wouldn't believe me.

Maddie looked pretty surprised when I showed up on her doorstep. She looked me up and down and her head tilted just slightly, eyebrows coming together as she asked, "Draco?"

I nodded.

"Wow. You seem… different."

I wasn't sure how to take that, so I just said, "I really need to talk to you."

Maddie looked even more confused, but stepped outside and agreed. She followed me a little ways from the house. We sat down on the curb next to each other.

"What's up?" she asked, her voice laced with worry.

I ran a hand through my hair, which I'd left wild and ungelled. "Some stuff has happened this year and it's… it's not good. My dad's out of prison, but everything's gotten worse."

What's going on?" Maddie asked without batting an eye.

"I…," I heisted, "I can't really say. My family's just mixed up in something and I don't have any control over it. I hope it won't ever get to you, but I want to make sure you're ready in case something does happen."

"Draco, please. You're scaring me."

If only she knew. "Just be careful, okay? Know who to trust. And don't come to my house under any circumstances. Understand?"

Maddie gave an almost imperceptible nod.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a muggle cell phone. "I bought this today. I'm gonna give you my number in case there's ever an emergency. Promise you'll call me, even if it seems too late."

"I promise."

I breathed a sigh of relief. Now that I could apparate, I knew I could reach her instantly if she was attacked. It was an ability I was more than grateful for.

Maddie handed me her cellphone and I programmed my number into it. When I handed it back to her, she grabbed my hand.

"Are you okay?"

I wasn't sure whether she meant mentally or physically, but I told her I was.

"You'll probably be fine," I added, "I just wanted to be sure. I'd never forgive myself if I let something happen to you."

It was a sappy thing to say, but whatever.

Maddie continued holding my hand, and then she leaned against my side, putting her head in my shoulder. She breathed deeply.

"Will I see you again?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know."

She took her head off my shoulder and looked at me.

"I know this probably isn't a good time for you to be sneaking around. But… I think you need someone. And I want to be there for you. Even if we're just friends." She took a somewhat shaky breath. "Maybe we could meet up a few times a week or once a week or even once a month. Just something. Please."

My heart constricted. Maybe it was selfish, but I really wanted to see her again.

"I think we can work something out," I told her.

Maddie's lips curled into a slight smile, eyes radiating relief.

Seeing her smile again… that was it for me. I leaned forward and kissed her. She kissed me back passionately and I found amoment of peace there, with her.

There was nowhere I'd rather be.

…

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	16. 3-5 Epoximise

**Last chapter of part 3!**

…

 ** _PART 3: Hex (Sacrifice for a Muggle)_**

 ** _Hexes are another minor dark magic (worse than jinxes but not as bad as curses); they consistently affect an object in a negative manner, causing major inconvenience to the target._**

…

 _3.5 EPOXIMISE_

 _Epoximise is a spell used to bond two objects together._

…

During the rest of summer, Maddie and I met around once a week. We never planned too far ahead, so we set a new date and time every week.

Some weeks we could only spend an hour together, but we made the best of it. Other weeks, we got to spend a whole day together. No matter what hand we were dealt that week, we made it work.

At the end of summer came far too soon for either of us.

Our last meeting was a few days before the Hogwarts train would take everyone away. I was going to have to go to Diagon Alley the next day, so it was actually the last day I'd be home until at least Christmas holiday.

Maddie and I met up at the park, as usual. I thought it might be smart to avoid meeting at Maddie's house, so we picked the park as our meeting place.

She saw me while I was still a while off, and a grin immediately lit her face. She dashed over and jumped on me, wrapping her arms around me in a hug.

I laughed. "Hi, Maddie."

She leaned back and looked at me. "Hi, Draco. What's up?"

She asked me that every time we met. It was her way of making sure my situation at home was still okay, of telling me that if I wanted to talk about it, she would listen.

"I'm okay," I told her. "Things are quiet right now."

And they were. Since the Dark Lord had conquered the ministry, there weren't as many Death Eaters at our house. Even better, the Dark Lord still wasn't attacking the nearby muggle settlement because he wanted any fight with the Order of the Phoenix to be on his terms.

Maddie's eyes sparkled happily and she pulled me into a kiss.

When we pulled apart, she asked, "How much time do we have?"

"A few hours. What do you want to do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I just want to hang out, since this is the last time I'll see you for a while."

"Sounds good to me. Why don't we get some ice cream and then find a place to sit?"

"Perfect."

We went to the park vendor and got mint chip cones. We'd discovered the previous summer that it was both our favorite flavors.

After that, we wandered around for a bit, scouting out the perfect place to sit. We finally found a secluded spot by the lake and settled down there.

The next two hours we spent mostly just talking, though admittedly, there was a fair bit of snogging too.

"I really don't want to leave," I told her.

"I don't want you to leave either," she agreed. "But at least it means you'll get out of the house, right?"

I nodded. "I guess so."

I wasn't entirely sure what to expect during the school year. Snape was going to be headmaster, and a few of the Death Eaters were going to be teachers. I knew that things were going to be different than before, probably worse, but I didn't know how much.

"You're thinking too much," Maddie said teasingly.

"Yeah. I should really avoid it altogether," I joked.

I toyed with a strand of her blonde hair and grinned. "But then, you talk too much. Maybe I should do something about that."

I pressed my lips to hers and we ended up snogging a bit more, neither of us quite ready to say goodbye.

Our lips separated for a moment and I nudged Maddie's nose with mine happily. She sighed contentedly.

I opened my eyes and said something I'd been thinking for a while, but hadn't been brave enough to voice yet.

"I love you."

Maddie's hazel eyes flew open and she stared at me, as if she wasn't sure she'd heard me right.

"Really?" she asked hopefully.

"Yeah. I really do."

Maddie's whole face lit up and she threw her hands around my neck, hugging me.

"I love you too," she murmured.

It made it so much harder to say goodbye, but I was glad to have said it. Hearing Maddie say it back meant the world to me.

No.

 _She_ meant the world to me.

…

 **REVIEW!**

 **Coming up- PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**


	17. 4-1 Duro

**I really need to apologize for not updating.**

 **I dislocated my right shoulder a few weeks ago, and stopped writing for about a week. And then, my terrible luck struck, and I couldn't find the next two chapters of this story. I wrote them a while back, but in a notebook, and I hadn't typed them up yet. I also haven't written in a while, so I'm WAY behind. I should've looked for the notebook sooner, but I've had a weird summer, so I kept putting it off. I finally found it yesterday when I was looking for something else. I've been writing like crazy for the last 24 hours, and I'm getting back on track, so at least there's that.**

 **To make it up to you guys, I'll be updating 4 chapters a week, 2 on Wednesday and 2 on Friday. I decided to do Wednesdays instead of Tuesdays because I have another story that I update on Tuesdays.**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy!**

…

 _ **PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Transfigurations are spells that alter an object's form or appearance. Transfigurations change what an object is (as opposed to charms, which change what an object is doing).**_

…

 _4.1 DURO_

 _Duro (the Hardening Charm) is a spell used to change objects into stone._

…

The first thing I noticed when the school year started was the number of students.

It wasn't really obvious until we were all sitting at the Sorting Ceremony and Welcome Banquet. I'd never really socialized outside my own house, but even I noticed all the missing faces. The Slytherin House was just as big as before, but the others…

Nearly a quarter of each house was just gone.

Hufflepuff seemed to have lost even more than that, perhaps closer to a third. And besides that, there were far fewer first years. The Sorting Ceremony was _so_ short.

Had all those students been muggleborn?

Crabbe elbowed him and whispered, "Quite an improvement, huh? No more mudbloods."

Goyle grinned at the statement, and I realized I'd have to say something, too.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and added, "With Dumbledore and the mudbloods gone, I don't think I've ever liked Hogwarts better."

That was a lie. But I'd become well-rehearsed in lying, so I didn't catch the suspicions of my classmates. Inside, rage was boiling. Everything was wrong.

I glanced around at the other tables, at the new students. They seemed so excited and hopeful. They had no idea what was going on.

The older students, on the other hand, were all too aware of the war closing in. Most of them looked as though they'd been visited by dementors, and their eyes were haunted by fear.

And yet, there were still a few faces that remained strong. Their eyes were hard and determined, shoulders set firmly. They looked at Headmaster Snape coldly, but at other students with kindness and warmth. They were surrounded by students who looked up to them, who took comfort in their strength.

I recognized most of those people. Ginny Weasely. Luna Lovegood. Seamus Finnigan. Ernia Macmillan. The Patil twins.

One face surprised me. Neville Longbottom. I'd known Neville was good friends with Harry Potter, and thet he'd fought with the so-called "Chosen One" before. Still, I couldn't help but think of him as the wimpy kid who couldn't perform a lick of decent magic.

No more, though.

Neville's eyes were fixed on the Carrows – sibling Death Eaters who'd be teaching "Dark Arts" (formerly "Defense Against the Dark Arts"). His eyes were full of anger and hatred, something I wouldn't have expected. It was strange to see how much he'd grown up in such a short amount of time.

Harry Potter, of course, was absent, as were his sidekicks (Hermione Granger and Ron Weasely). They weren't stupid.

Though, somehow, the fact that they were gone seemed to put a lot of students (especially Gryffindors) on edge.

At least the first years were happy.

…

Two months after class started, "Dark Arts" got really bad. At first, we spent classes basically hearing propaganda. Then, the Carrows started teaching us about dementors and werewolves and even giants, which I imagine was because they were all on the Dark Lord's side.

But then, they decided to teach us the unforgivable curses.

The first was the Imperious Curse. We started with animals, and later began practicing on other students. It wasn't really _right_ , but at least no one got hurt.

Then came the Cruciatus Curse. Just like before, we started with animals. Their cries of pain were awful, but I thought that was the end of it.

It wasn't.

I walked into class one day to find a large group of first years in the room, looking a little nervous. The Carrows explained to us that we'd be practicing the Cruciatus Curse on them.

My veins flooded with ice and horror squeezed my chest.

"No."

The words weren't mine, but I knew the voice. My head jerked around to find its source.

"What?" demanded Alecto Carrow menacingly.

"I won't do it."

Finally, my eyes stopped on none other than Neville Longbottom.

"I won't," he repeated. Then, before the Carrows could argue, he spun around and walked out of the room. Ginny Weasely followed him, throwing a hateful look over her shoulder.

"Anyone else?" hissed Amycus Carrow. It was more of a threat than an actual question.

After a few moments of silence, each student was assigned to a first year.

I didn't want to do it. I'd tortured before but… well, this was different. These kids didn't do anything. But I ignored that, and I did it anyway. I felt like I had no other choice.

" _Crucio_!"

The blast sent the small Hufflepuff boy to the ground. His name was Alex, and beforehand, he'd timidly asked if it would hurt. I hadn't answered.

The spell didn't have the "correct" effect, because you have to mean it. But it did still hurt him. A lot. I casted the curse several times, and I could see he was in pain. But he stayed strong. When class ended, the kid ran to help some of his classmates up, those who'd had it worse than him. They all scurried out of the room quickly.

When I got back to the Slytherin dorms, I collapsed on my bed and tried not to think about Maddie. If she knew what I'd just done, would she still love me? How could she still care about me when I hated myself?

…

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	18. 4-2 Crucio

**WARNING! LONG CHAPTER AHEAD!**

…

 _ **PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Transfigurations are spells that alter an object's form or appearance. Transfigurations change what an object is (as opposed to charms, which change what an object is doing).**_

…

 _4.2 CRUCIO_

 _Crucio (the Cruciatus Curse) is a spell used to torture a victim._

…

I wasn't able to come home for Christmas that year. It was a combination of things that decided that.

First, the Dark Lord had temporarily returned to our manor. I don't know exactly what business was being handled, but I wasn't eager to go home with him there. Plus, if he was there, my chances of seeing Maddie were slim to none.

Second, Hogwarts was in ruin. Not literally, obviously, but the students were terrified. The first years and the Hufflepuffs in particular were picked on and ridiculed regularly. Their only saving grace was that other students stood up for them when it got too bad. Everyone in the school had started working together, so it wasn't just D.A. members sticking their necks out anymore. I hadn't intervened in anything yet, but only because there was always someone more willing. With so many students going home for Christmas, I worried about who'd be left to protect those that stayed.

Maddie would've stayed to do it, so I decided to do just that. I sent her a letter to let her know I wouldn't be home for Christmas. It was difficult to send, as all mail in and out of Hogwarts was checked, but I managed to send it during a Hogsmead visit.

The holiday came and went, but fortunately no one was hurt. It seemed even the Death Eaters weren't immune to Christmas cheer.

…

Next came Easter holiday, which I was extra excited for. It would be the first time in over six months that I could see Maddie.

This time, the Dark Lord was away, so our manor was a lot safer, and far more students would be staying at Hogwarts, so no one was in too much danger.

As soon as I got home, I slipped away to see Maddie the first chance I got.

Her eyes grew wide when she opened the door and saw me standing there.

"Maddie," I breathed, lips curling into a soft smile.

She still looked in shock. "Oh my God. You're _here_."

I stepped forward and took her hand. Apparently, the act broke Maddie's trance, because she then threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

"It's so good to see you," she murmured against my shoulder. Then, pulling away, she asked, "What's up?"

Recalling our previous tradition, I replied, "I'm okay. Better now that I'm here. School has been harder than I thought it'd be."

"Well, it's almost over. A few more months."

"Yeah."

Maddie grinned. "So how long are you here for?"

"Just this week. But I should be able to come by again before I leave.

Maddie crossed her fingers and said, "Here's hoping."

We spent a little over an hour together, and then I reluctantly told her it was time to go home. I didn't want to arouse suspicions.

Before I left, I made sure to tell Maddie that I loved her.

There was no way of knowing for sure when I'd see her again. And if I died in the war, I'd want those to be my last words to her.

…

As usual, things did not go according to plan.

My Aunt Bellatrix came to stay for a while, and I definitely couldn't sneak out while she was around. And then, two or three days after I'd gotten to see Maddie, someone else showed up.

I heard the tone that meant someone was at the gate, and immediately tensed. That sound usually meant the arrival of another Death Eater bringing some kind of news.

I knew my mother would be questioning the visitors, and then may or may not let them in based on their intentions.

I sat in an armchair in the drawing room, waiting to see what would happen. My father wandered into the room and sat next to him.

I heard voices, which meant whoever it was had been let in. The voices rose, coming closer. Then I saw my mother walk into the room, followed by several others. I noticed Fenrir Greyback was there with several Snatchers and frowned. Then I recognized two of his prisoners as none other than Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger.

My father stood and asked, "What is this?"

"They say they've got Potter," my mother replied.

My eyes widened and I took a second look at the prisoners. They had to be talking about the one with black hair and glasses, but his face was… wrong.

"Draco, come here," my mother beckoned.

I got up and walked a bit closer, but I stayed far away from Greyback. I noticed that whoever it was wore dirty clothes, and had a significant amount of stubble. He wasn't sure what Potter could've been doing to look so dirty, so for a second I was certain it wasn't him. But then again, this person _had_ been caught with Weasely and Granger.

"Well, boy?" I heard Greyback ask.

I grimaced internally and ignored the question, instead deciding to take more of a look at the prisoner's face. It was horrific, all stretched and unnatural. But when I caught sight of the prisoner's eyes, I knew. Harry Potter's green eyes were famous, and for good reason. They were very vibrant, and very distinct.

This was him.

But his face was all wrong. It had to have been hit with a Stinging Jinx or something.

That reminded me what Potter was doing, what he was trying to do. I may have sided with the Dark Lord, but I didn't believe in the cause. I still wasn't sure whether I wanted that side to win or not. I was afraid of failing, but I was just as afraid of winning.

"Well, Draco? Is it? Is it Harry Potter?" my father asked excitedly.

"I can't... I can't be sure," I said uncertainly. I avoided Potter's gaze.

"But look at him carefully," my father insisted, "Look! Come closer!"

I took a few steps toward Potter, still avoiding his eyes.

"Draco, if we're the ones who hand Potter over to the Dark Lord," my father reminded me, "everything will be forgiv-"

"Now, we won't be forgetting who actually caught him, I hope, Mr. Malfoy?" Greyback interrupted.

"Of course not, of course not!" my father replied, his patience clearly failing. He walked up closer to Potter, studying his features.

"What did you do to him? How did he get in this state?"

"That wasn't us," Greyback told him.

"Looks more like a Stinging Jinx to me," my father noted, matching my exact thoughts from earlier. "There's something there," he whispered," it could be the scar, stretched tight… Draco, come here, look properly! What do you think?"

Reluctantly, I stepped even closer to Potter. I stared at his distorted features and tried to decide what to do. My father had a point, if we handed him over, the Dark Lord might forgive us. That would certainly help my family, but it still wouldn't guarantee Maddie's safety. The more time I spent among the Death Eaters, the more I realized how unlikely it was that anything could convince the Dark Lord to leave anyone be. Perhaps it would be better to let Potter go, give the other side a chance at success?

I made eye contact with Potter, and recognized my own fear reflected in his eyes. He didn't want to die, didn't want to let everyone down that was counting on him saving them. I supposed we were more alike than I'd realized before.

I finally made my decision. I couldn't, in good conscience, tell everyone that it was Harry Potter. That would mean his death and very likely the end of the resistance. I didn't want to be the cause of that. But I also didn't want to lie to everyone. So I decided… to not decide.

"I don't know," I stated, and I walked back toward my armchair, making it clear I was done discussing it. My mother was standing at the fireplace, and I glanced at her before leaning against the side of the chair, facing the wall. The prisoners were to my left, still within my sights, but at least I wasn't looking right at them. I felt like, when I was looking at them, I had to hide my recognition. I felt guilty for all kinds of reasons.

"We'd better be certain, Lucius," she said. "Completely sure that it is Potter, before we summon the Dark Lord… They say this is his…" she glanced at the wand Greyback had taked from Potter, "but it does not match Ollivander's description… If we are mistaken, if we call the Dark Lord here for nothing… Remember what he did to Rowle and Dolohov?"

She was afraid, as I was. I willed her to give into that fear, to let Potter go. I may have hated him, but I didn't want him to die. I wanted the death to end.

"What about the Mudblood, then?" Greyback pointed out, moving Granger into the light.

"Wait. Yes – yes, she was in Madam Malkin's with Potter! I saw her picture in the _Prophet_! Look, Draco, isn't it the Granger girl?"

"I… maybe… yeah," I stuttered weakly. I stood straighter and turned away from them all, leaning against the fireplace mantle.

"But then, that's the Weasley boy!" my father shouted gleefully, walking over to the redhead. "It's them, Potter's friends – Draco, look at him, isn't it Arthur Weasely's son, what's his name…?"

"Yeah. It could be," I said, wishing this would end sooner rather than later. I felt sick.

Then the one thing that could've made the situation worse happened. Aunt Bellatrix showed up.

"What is this? What's happened, Cissy?"

I turned around to find her walking around Greyback's prisoners. She paused by Granger.

"But surely, this is the Mudblood girl? This is Granger?"

"Yes, yes, it's Granger!" my father cried. "And beside her, we think, Potter! Potter and his friends, caught at last!"

"Potter?" she shrieked. "Are your sure? Well then, the Dark Lord must be summoned at once!"

She moved to summon him and I froze, eyes on Potter and his friends.

My father, at that point, grabbed her wrist and said, "I was about to call him! _I_ shall summon him, Bella, Potter has been brought to my house, and it is therefore upon my authority-"

"Your authority!" Aunt Bellatrix sneered. "You lost your authority when you lost your wand, Lucius! How dare you! Take your hands off me!"

An argument followed about who would get the credit for capturing Potter, all the while I stood there watching Potter, who was watching everyone else. Then Aunt Bellatrix noticed that Greyback had the Sword of Gryffindor with him, and it was pandemonium. After spells and spells were exchanged, she told me to take the Snatchers (who she'd rendered unconscious) outside, and I couldn't think to argue. I got out of there as quick as I could, and I didn't return.

That didn't keep me from knowing what was going on, however. I could hear Granger's screams from outside. It was gut-wrenching, especially because it made me think about Maddie, and what it would be like if she was being tortured.

I had to get the Goblin from the cellar so that he could be questioned as well. Once I'd handed him over, I sat in my armchair and stared at the ground, wishing I could block out Granger's tortured screams. Finally, it ended, but only because Aunt Bellatrix had called the Dark Lord and planned to kill her.

Then Potter and Weasely burst into the room, shocking everyone. I shot a Disarming Charm at Potter instinctively, but he avoided it. That didn't matter much, though, because they surrendered moments later when Granger's life was threatened. I picked up their wands, and avoided looking at them. I had to stay objective. Or rather, I had to keep from doing something stupid and getting myself killed.

Turns out, I didn't have to. Dobby, our old house-elf, came and saved the day. Potter yanked the wands out of my hands and they all disapparated.

A part of me was glad they'd escaped. But the other part of me was too afraid to be relieved. The Dark Lord had already been summoned. And, when he arrived, there would be hell to pay for letting him go.

We were tortured. All of us. We'd had Potter in our grasp and couldn't hold onto him.

I'd felt the Cruciatus Curse before. But that was nothing compared to what the Dark Lord inflicted on me. His white-hot rage fueled the curse to a level of pain that cannot be fully described.

After that, my thoughts weren't quite as conflicted. I hated the Death Eaters more than ever, but I _never_ wanted to feel that pain again. I wasn't sure I could handle it.

I wasn't exactly the heroic type. And, as much as I hate to say it, I would've rather been a servant of the Dark Lord than try to do the right thing and wind up being tortured again.

So I essentially sold my soul to the devil.

Bloody hell.

…

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 **Don't forget- Updates are now Wednesdays and Fridays, with two chapters being posted each day.**


	19. 4-3 Deprimo

**By the way, I know the name of this chapter seems weird, but it's for a reason. Imagine that Draco has built up a wall of reasoning for staying loyal to the Death Eaters. Well, in this chapter, a giant hole is blasted through that reasoning. You'll see.**

…

 _ **PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Transfigurations are spells that alter an object's form or appearance. Transfigurations change what an object is (as opposed to charms, which change what an object is doing).**_

…

 _4.3 DEPRIMO_

 _Deprimo is a spell used to blast holes in things._

…

At the Battle of Hogwarts, I snuck away from the other Slytherins along with Crabbe and Goyle. At that point, all I wanted was to get Harry Potter to the Dark Lord. I figured that it would help me and my family, hopefully even Maddie. Plus, it could save hundreds of lives. The Dark Lord said he would attack Hogwarts unless Potter was given to him. I knew everyone would fight rather than do that, which was honorable, but also stupid. So many people would die that didn't deserve it.

It seemed to me that handing Potter over would accomplish everything I needed.

The three of us came running around a corner, only to see Potter, Granger, and Weasely running around another corner, toward us. They hadn't seen us. We cloaked ourselves in disillusionment charms and waited for them to pass so we could catch them by surprise. They were talking about a diadem, not that I knew what that was. Only, they didn't go past us. They faced a section of wall, where a door appeared, and they stepped inside. As soon as they did, the door vanished.

That's where the Room of Requirement was.

I stripped off the disillusionment charm and walked over to the same section of wall, and Crabbe and Goyle both followed suit, awaiting orders silently. The fact that the door was gone didn't matter much, because I knew how to open it.

 _I need to find Harry Potter._

And the door materialized.

I gestured for Crabbe and Goyle to go in first, and I walked behind them. I recognized the room as the same one I'd spent so much time in the year before, where the previously broken Vanishing Cabinet was. It only took a minute or two to find Potter.

"Hold it, Potter," I shouted over, wand extended.

Potter turned around, and I noticed he was holding my wand, though it was at his side.

"That's my wand you're holding, Potter."

"Not anymore. Winner's keepers, Malfoy. Who's lent you theirs?"

"My mother," I admitted.

Harry laughed. "So, how come you three aren't with Voldemort?"

I winced at the name. I'd never dared call him anything but "the Dark Lord".

Surprisingly, Crabbe answered Potter's question. "We're gonna be rewarded. We 'hung back, Potter. We decided not to go. Decided to bring you to 'im."

"Good plan," Harry said mockingly.

He started edging backwards, but I wasn't concerned by it. I glanced around to make sure Granger and/or Weasely wouldn't sneak up on us.

"So, how did you get in here?" Potter asked.

I wanted to roll my eyes. "I virtually lived in the Room of Hidden Things all last year. I know how to get in."

"We was hiding in the corridor outside," Goyle added. "We can do Diss-lusion Charms now! And then you turned up right in front of us and said you was looking for a die-dum! What's a die-dum?"

Then Weasely's voice sounded in the room. "Harry? Are you talking to someone?"

Crabbe swiveled and quickly shot, " _Descendo_!" in Ron's direction.

Things started toppling and I heard Granger scream.

" _Finite_!" Potter shouted. Pointing his wand at a shelf that was wobbling.

Crabbe looked like he was going to cast the spell again, and I grabbed his arm. "No! If you wreck the room, you might bury this diadem thing!"

I was figuring whatever Potter was after had to be important, and the Dark Lord might want it. Plus, we might _all_ be buried by falling debris, which wouldn't exactly be productive.

"What's that matter?" Crabbe asked. "It's Potter the Dark Lord wants, who cares about a die-dum?"

"Potter came here to get it," I tolod Crabbe impatiently, "so that must mean-"

"Must mean? Who cares what you think? I don't take your orders no more, _Draco_. You an' your dad are finished."

That was a low blow.

"Harry? What's going on?" Weasely called.

Crabbe mimicked him sarcastically, and then noticed Harry lunging forward. "No, Potter!" he shouted. " _Crucio_!"

The curse missed Potter, thank God.

"STOP! The Dark Lord wants him alive!"

"So? I'm not killing him, am I?" Crabbe challenged. "But if I can, I will, the Dark Lord wants him dead anyway, what's the diff-"

At that moment, Granger sent a spell toward Crabbe, and I had to yank him out of the way.

He saw Granger and shouted, "It's that Mudblood! _Avada Kedavra_!"  
I felt sick that he would shoot to kill, and I don't blame Potter for lashing out. Of course, even he wasn't that cruel, and only tried to stun Crabbe, but the oaf knocked my wand out of my hands.

"Don't kill him! DON'T KILL HIM!" I yelled urgently.

In the seconds that followed, Potter and his friends gained the upper hand. Weasely returned, and Goyle was disarmed. Crabbe barely avoided another Stunning Spell from Granger and cast the Killing Curse yet again, this time at Weasely.

I ducked behind a wardrobe, trying to think of what to do. It's not like I hadn't expected a confrontation, I just hadn't expected this kind of chaos. And I didn't have my wand, so I couldn't do anything.

I heard more yelling, and then…

" _Fiendfyre_!"

Oh no.

"HARRY!" Granger screamed, and I could already hear the fire roaring.

"Like it hot, scum?" Crabbe laughed, his voice growing fainter as he ran.

I grabbed Goyle and pulled him along, knowing how badly this could end.

Harry tried in vain to put out the fire, but to no avail. He, Granger, and Weasely took off running as well.

After not long, I'd lost sight of Crabbe, and I couldn't see Potter and his friends behind me. The fire was closing in, and I climbed up on desks, trying to bring Goyle with me. He was heavy and unconscious, and I got singed a few times. Fear gripped me and a scream ripped from my throat.

A few moments later, I saw Potter flying above me on a broom. And he dove, headed for me. I raised my empty hand, and Harry tried to pull me up. My hand was too sweaty, though, and Goyle was too heavy. For a moment, I was afraid he was going to leave us there.

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY!" Weasely shouted over the roar of the fire, and then he and Granger were there hoisting Goyle onto their broom.

I was able to get onto Potter's broom, and we shot forward.

"The door, get to the door, the door!" I screamed, panicky. Potter sped up, but as they were getting close to the door, he suddenly swerved and dove down.

" _What are you doing, what are you doing, the door's that way_!"

Potter caught what looked like a crown on his wrist, and then we were zooming toward the door again. We finally made it out, and the instant we got past the smoke, I fell off the broom. I lay there coughing and dry heaving from smoke inhalation, trying to suck in clean air.

My first thought was Crabbe.

"Crabbe," I coughed out, "C-Crabbe…"

"He's dead," said Ron harshly.

I sat, slumped over, absorbing that fact. I'd known Crabbe since we were kids. I don't know if I'd say we were friends, but still.

I was too dazed to notice when Potter and his friends left, and the full reality of what had just occurred didn't hit me until then.

Harry Potter, my enemy, had just saved my life.

He and his friends had risked everything to save Goyle and me when we'd been battling moments before. They could have _died_. But they did it anyways.

It hit me especially hard because I knew not even one of the Death Eaters would have done that for me, or for anyone on their side.

I wasn't sure where to go from there.

I made sure that Goyle was going to be okay, and I told him that he should get out of Hogwarts. He asked if I'd be joining him.

I said no.

I needed a little while to think.

…

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	20. 4-4 Episky

**NOTE: In a few sections of this story where I've told a specific scene from Draco's point of view, I've used the books as reference rather than the movies. However, in this chapter, I will be including the scene in The Deathly Halloes, Part 2 where Harry is announced dead rather than the book version because I wanted to use the part where Draco is called back over to the Death Eater side. Hopefully, the slight inconsistency won't bother you guys too much.**

…

 _ **PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Transfigurations are spells that alter an object's form or appearance. Transfigurations change what an object is (as opposed to charms, which change what an object is doing).**_

…

 _4.4 EPISKY_

 _Episky is a spell used to heal minor injuries._

…

Just when I'd made up my mind to return to the Death Eaters, I ran into one that didn't recognize me. He had his wand pointed at me, and I couldn't do anything about it.

"I'm Draco Malfoy," I pleaded, "I'm Draco, I'm on your side!"

But whoever it was didn't seem to care. Either they didn't recognize the name, which was extremely unlikely, or he knew no one would care if I died. I could only assume it was the latter, and I can't really describe how it felt to realize that the people I'd done everything for, the cause I'd dedicated myself to, considered me worthless.

A jet of light came from nowhere then and knocked out the Death Eater. I looked around to see who had done it. Who had saved me? Maybe I wasn't so worthless after all.

No sooner did that thought enter my mind than something connected with my face.

The punch hurt, and it split open a pre-existing cut on my lip. I fell backward onto the Death Eater who'd been more than ready to kill me. However, that had more to do with my surprise than the power of the punch, which was surprisingly low.

I almost smiled, having an idea then who'd helped me.

"And that's the second time we've saved your life tonight, you two-faced bastard!" I heard Ron Weasely shout from nowhere. Must have been under Potter's invisibility cloak.

I think it was that moment. That was when everything changed for me.

First, my enemies had saved my life, just on principal. And then, when my own so-called allies turned against me, my supposed enemies saved my life _again_.

How could I still fight for the Death Eaters?

I was still wandless, and powerless and afraid, but that was all okay. Finally, I was going to do the right thing.

Maddie would be proud.

I wasn't exactly sure how to go about changing sides. It wasn't likely anyone would believe me. Plus, what was I supposed to do without a wand?

I ended up getting a broom to fly on, and a couple of things from Snape's potion cupboard. Most weren't even potions, just ingredients.

I may not have had a wand, but I could still cause some mayhem.

For a while, that's exactly what I did. I flew around with a pouch full of stuff and dropped things on Death Eaters. It wasn't much, but it distracted them long enough that whoever they were dueling could get in a spell or two. I was also able to move quick enough that I wasn't hit by any vengeful Death Eaters. I was also high enough that they didn't recognize me, which I supposed was good for my family. I was recognized by a few people on Potter's side, though, when I stopped to reload my bag with rocks and debris.

After some time, the Dark Lord's voice echoed through the castle, declaring an hour-long ceasefire. If Potter were to give himself up during that time, everyone else would be spared. If not, everyone would die.

I decided not to form an opinion about what should be done. I noticed people were taking the Dark Lord's advice and taking care of the bodies of those who'd died, and I decided to help.

I didn't even know most of the people I picked up and moved into the Great Hall. They were all so young, and I realized some of them should have been evacuated, but must have snuck back or else hidden while the evacuation was being carried out. It killed me to see them there, lifeless.

I saw the Weasely family in the hall, too. They were all standing over a body, which I later found out was Fred. Their cries of anguish were like nothing I'd ever heard before. And there was nothing I could do. I'd never liked the family, but _no one_ deserves to lose someone so important to them.

After a while, I stopped seeing bodies to move. I was wandering through the castle, looking for someone else I should be moving, and I came across a different need that had to be met.

"Help!" a small voice squeaked.

I turned toward it to find a third year Gryffindor boy laying on the ground, debris covering his legs.

"Help!" he repeated. "I'm stuck!"

I rushed over and started moving things off the poor boy, who grimaced and grunted in pain at times. It took me a few minutes, but I was able to get even the heaviest pieces off him without too much trouble.

"Can you stand?" I asked him when it was done.

He shook his head. "My legs hurt too much."

"Okay. Here, grab onto my shoulders. I'll take you to the Great Hall, somebody can fix you up."

He obediently grabbed onto my shoulders and held on tight while I stood up. I held onto his thighs and he got a piggy-back ride to the Great Hall. I deposited him there with a Hufflepuff girl who promised to heal his legs as best she could.

As I left, the boy shouted back at me, "Hey!"

I turned back around. "What?"

"Thank you. And… my wand is back there. You can borrow it, if you want. Use it to help more people."

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks. I will."

I went back to where I'd found the boy and got his wand from where it'd rolled. Fortunately, it wasn't broken. I stuck in in my back pocket and walked around a bit more to see if there were any other injured people that needed help.

There weren't many, but I did whatever I could for those I did find, ultimately directing them all back to the Great Hall.

Close to the end of the hour, I returned to the Great Hall and gave the third year his wand back.

While I was there, a Ravenclaw girl asked me to help her get some of the younger students to a safer place. We didn't know where they'd been evacuated before, so we took them to the Slytherin dorms. It was the girl's idea. She said it would be safe there because it was belowground, so it was less likely to be destroyed. She made all the students promise to stay there until someone came to get them.

We went back to the Great Hall, and the girl left to make sure there weren't any other underage kids. She also said she was going to tell more people about the kids in the Slytherin dorms so that, if one of us died, they wouldn't be left there.

What a depressing thought.

Still, I really felt like I was doing god, like I'd made a difference. It didn't exactly make up for all the bad I'd done, but it was a start.

I sat down to take a break for a moment, and I realized the hour was almost over.

Then there was a commotion outside, and people started moving out to see. I followed them, and was faced with a wall of Death Eaters, Voldemort in front of them, giving us the news that Harry Potter had died. Hagrid was carrying his body as proof.

The Death Eaters were all laughing, my Aunt Bellatrix loudest of all. And the Dark Lord wore a wide smile that made him look maniacal.

"Come forward and join us," he beckoned, "or _die_."

There was a long, silent pause, and then a scratchy voice called, "Draco."

It was my father.

He stood at the front of the Death Eaters next to my mother, looking right at me. I could feel many eyes on both sides watching me.

"Draco," he said quietly, holding out his hand.

I still didn't move.

"Draco," my mother called.

They both stood there, waiting.

I hesitated. I didn't want to go back to the Dark Lord and his Death Eaters. I hated them. But those people were my _parents_. And I couldn't just abandon them.

Plus, with Potter dead, I figured it was over anyway. What was the point in fighting for Hogwarts if we were going to lose anyway?

Hesitantly, I walked down the steps, looking down and avoiding the gazes of all the Hogwarts students. I walked slowly across the empty space between the two sides, towards my parents.

"Ah! Well done, Draco," the Dark Lord said as I approached. "Well done."

He wrapped his arms around me in something I would call a mock hug. I stood rigid with my arms at my sides. I didn't look at him. I couldn't look at him. I felt defeated.

He let me go and I continued on. My mother took me and we all faded back into the line of Death Eaters.

…

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	21. 4-5 Periculum

**BTW: This is a pretty short chapter. Sorry! The next one is longer.**

 **ALSO: Sorry for the late chapter! I've been behind on my writing this week.**

 **Well, in any case, ENJOY!**

…

 _ **PART 4: Transfiguration (Love for a Muggle)**_

 _ **Transfigurations are spells that alter an object's form or appearance. Transfigurations change what an object is (as opposed to charms, which change what an object is doing).**_

…

 _4.5 PERICULUM_

 _Periculum is a spell used to release a shower of red sparks from the caster's wand._

…

The shock I felt when I saw Harry Potter _alive_ was enormous.

I felt this sort of mixture of relief and dread. Because, while it meant that side stood a chance of winning, it also meant I'd just returned to the side I wanted to be far, far away from.

I think, at that point, I just didn't want to fight anymore. I was tired of being torn between the two sides, tired of never knowing what I should do.

While I stood there and conflicted, my mother took action. I found out later it was because she'd lied to the Dark Lord, told him Harry was dead, but I didn't know that then. My father knew, though, and so when I resisted, holding back out of confusion, he yanked me forward and told me we needed to go. I heard the urgency in his tone and didn't argue.

The three of us ran, not towards the other side, but away from the battle altogether. Away from Hogwarts, away from everything.

We got to Hogsmeade, which was empty because all the Death Eaters had gone to see the Dark Lord's announcement that Harry Potter was dead. We hunkered down behind one of the shops, our eyes turned toward Hogwarts. We didn't speak. We didn't move. I suppose we could have apparated elsewhere, but none of us thought to. Maybe that was because we wanted to know the outcome of the battle. Maybe we were just frozen by fear. I can't say for sure.

It felt like forever that we sat there, listening to the sounds of battle. I wonder if I should have felt guilty for abandoning both sides. Because I didn't. I was glad to be away. I didn't want to be part of any of that anymore.

Eventually, around the time the sun would be coming up, the noise coming from Hogwarts began to die. Then it died altogether. We saw black streaks leaping into the sky. And there was a great, joyous roar.

My mouth slowly curved into a smile. "He's lost," I whispered. "Hogwarts has won."

It sounded loud in the quiet. But I felt both parents relax a bit next to me.

"We should go back."

It was a radical idea, considering. But I got up, my body stiff from staying still for so long, and I started walking. I had to see it for myself.

My parents followed.

We walked back to Hogwarts, and when I got there, all I saw was students and teachers celebrating. I really smiled then. It was real. The Dark Lord had failed. Good had won.

I felt out of place there, though. Sure, I'd helped for a while, but my Dark Mark was proof that I'd been against this for a long time. I could tell both of my parents felt the same way. I wondered if we would even be accepted there.

I soon found out what my mother had done. Potter must have told someone, and the word carried. People look at her and their eyes softened. One or two came to say thank you. A few people also came to say thanks to me, mostly people I'd found injured and helped. The young Gryffindor who'd lent me his wand hugged me. Most people just ignored my father.

For the most part, we were alone, but we weren't hated. Not by most. A lot of other students nodded to us and moved on. They knew what we'd done, the good and the bad.

It was a mostly happy day. The morning's Victory Feast was what everyone needed after everything that had happened. There weren't any fireworks, but we all stood in the courtyard and sent sparks into the air from our wands, creating a sheet of red _periculum_ sparks. It was a breathtaking sight.

During the day, one thing was consistently on my mind. Maddie. If it was really over, there was nothing stopping me from seeing her. I decided that I would go back home to Wiltshire, first thing the next morning.

I wondered if I'd ever be able to tell Maddie what happened. I had wanted for a long time to tell her the truth about me, about magic. Maybe I finally could. I wasn't supposed to, but it's not like anyone would convict me. The Ministry had fallen apart, and there was hardly anyone left to enforce the rules. And of course, those that remained had bigger things to worry about.

I doubted I could tell her about everything right away. It was all too… fresh. Too painful. But I knew I did want to tell her someday. And I could tell her about magic a lot sooner than that. I was excited to tell her about magic. I mean, I was also terrified, but that was okay. I trusted Maddie, and I knew that even though she probably wouldn't believe me at first, she would be able to accept it. She was always pretty open-minded.

I just couldn't wait to get back to her.

…

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	22. 5-1 Incendio

_**PART 5: Curse (Devotion to a Muggle)**_

 _ **Curses are the worst kind of dark magic; they affect the target in a strongly negative way.**_

…

 _5.1 INCENDIO_

 _Incendio (the Fire-making Charm) is a spell used to create a jet of flames._

…

My parents were concerned when I told them I'd be leaving Hogwarts the next morning. I can understand why. I mean, we had just been at war. I assured them I wasn't doing anything dangerous, just going home to check on things. They offered to go with me, but I told them they should stay and talk to Professor McGonagall and Kingsly Shacklebolt. I thought they should try to establish their change in allegiance as soon as possible, and I suggested that they name as many other Death Eaters as they could. It would definitely help our whole family get back to normal. Plus, if they were to disappear suddenly, that might seem suspicious.

They told me to expect them home within 24 hours, and I assured them that I'd stay close to the house.

I apparated home, deciding to take a bath before I went anywhere else. I still had bits of Snape's potion ingredients stuck to my clothes, and it didn't smell good.

The hot bath felt great, and afterward, I changed into muggle clothes and left my hair the way it was, knowing Maddie preferred it that way. I also decided to walk to her house like I used to instead of apparating. I was nervous to see her, but also excited. I didn't really know what to say, so I hoped I could come up with something on the way.

It was a familiar route, and I smiled as I walked along. It felt like forever ago that I'd last walked that route. Hard to believe it was only a month or two previous.

But about halfway there, I noticed something that chilled me to the bone.

The Dark Mark.

It was burned into the pavement in front of someone's house.

What's worse is the state of the house. It was charred, completely burned to the ground.

I wondered if I should go back home, but if there was danger, I wanted to get Maddie first. So I continued on, at a faster pace.

I passed more burned-down homes with Dark Marks in front. In fact, after the first one, almost every single house had been torched.

With every dead house I passed, my horror grew and my heart rate increased. I started to run.

I reached Maddie's house, and my heart nearly stopped. It was in ruin. Burned, just like the others. A Dark Mark stared at me menacingly from the pavement.

I rubbed the inside of my left arm, sickened by the fact that the same symbol was branded on me. I wished I could get rid of it, but I knew that wasn't possible. Hopefully, it would fade and maybe even disappear now that the Dark Lord was dead.

I stared at the blackened remains of Maddie's house and I could barely breathe. Where was she? Was she okay?

Desperately, I pulled out my mobile, the one I'd bought the previous summer so Maddie could contact me if she was in trouble. I'd kept it cloaked and strapped to my leg at all times.

I dialed her number, and it just kept ringing. It didn't even go to voicemail. (Yes, I do actually know a decent amount about muggle phones. I had to learn how they worked the previous summer.)

I didn't really know how else to get in touch with Maddie. Maybe one of her neighbors would know?

I wandered around, looking for the closest house that wasn't burned to a crisp. I found one about a block away. I pounded on the door urgently, heart pounding.

An old woman answered the door and frowned down at me.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"I hope so. This girl, Madilyn Carpenter, she lived over there," I gestured toward Maddie's house, "and I don't know what happened to her, or how to find her. Do you know anything?"

The woman sighed. "It's terrible what they did here. No one saw them, but it must have been a gang. They were evil people, must have been to do this to so many innocent people. So, so many… Well, I hate to say I don't know what happened to your friend. I didn't know the Carpenters very well. Have you checked the hospital?"

Of course! The muggle hospital! Why didn't I think of that?

"No, but I'll go there now. Thank you!"

"You're very welcome, young man."

I raced away from the house and towards… well, not really towards anywhere. I didn't actually know where the hospital was. I paused and then remembered the number muggles called for emergencies.

I pulled my mobile back out and dialed "999".

A man answered, and when I asked him for directions to the hospital, he laughed.

"You thought the best way to get directions was to dial 999?"

"I didn't know who else to call."

The man sighed and told me how to get there from Main Street, which I did know how to get to.

"And don't dial 999 for direction again," he added. "Understood?"

"Understood."

I apparated to a secluded spot on Main Street and moved quickly to get to the hospital. I didn't run, because I figured that would look a little suspicious, and if the police were looking for a gang, it would be very bad to get caught with a Dark Mark.

As soon as I got to the hospital, I went to the front desk at the main entrance. Fortunately, it was mostly empty inside.

"Is Madilyn Carpenter here?" I asked the receptionist anxiously.

"I'm not allowed to release that information," she replied, sounding professional.

"No, please. I just want to know if she's okay."

"I'm sorry, I can't-"

"Can't you just tell me whether she's alive?" I blurted, interrupting the woman.

She bit her lip. "I wish I could, but I'm not allowed. If she is here, I can give her or a family member your name. It's up to them what you know."

"Thank you," I said with a sigh. "And my name's Draco Malfoy."

She nodded and typed a bit on her computer. I didn't move. She noticed, and raised an eyebrow.

"Why don't you sit down?" she suggested.

Reluctantly, I left and sat down in the waiting room. I hoped I wouldn't be there for long.

About five minutes later, a familiar face stepped out of a doorway, and I stood up, going over to her.

"Mrs. Carpenter! Oh my God, I just saw… I only just got back from… boarding school. Is Maddie okay?"

Her eyes were rimmed red, and her shoulders were tense. I didn't think that was a good sign.

"Why don't we step outside?" she asked. Also not a good sign.

"Sure," I told her.

I followed Maddie's mom outside, and when she sat on a bench there, I sat next to her. I waited for her to say something, but she didn't, so I asked my question again.

"Is Maddie okay?"

"She's… alive. But she's in critical condition."

I felt like I'd been stabbed.

"What?"

"Maddie is in a coma."

…

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 **YAY, cliffhanger! Except not 'yay', because Maddie is in bad shape. We'll go more in detail about that on Friday.**


	23. 5-2 Defodio

**I can't believe how long it's been since I updated.**

 **I started college in September and kept thinking I'd settle in and get back to routine. Time just flew by. Fall quarter ended, I went home for Christmas, and I was still too busy to write. Now, winter quarter has also passed, and I'm starting spring quarter. I managed to do a bit of writing over beak, just enough to get me started again. So I've started to just get going again, even though I have other things I have to do. I want to finish this story (and my others), and I don't want to let any of you down. It's been eating me up inside that I've left you all hanging for so long, and I cannot begin to express how sorry I am for that. This happened once before, with my first fanfic, and I swore I'd never let it happen again. I hate that I failed in that.**

 **In any case, this story will resume. I will be updating twice a week, the same as before, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays (instead of Wednesdays and Fridays).**

 **Again, I'm so sorry for the delay, and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story. I swear to you, I will finish it, and I won't leave you hanging again. However, once I finish this, I'll probably take a break from fanfiction for a while. I'll still write, but I don't think I'll start posting until I've gotten into a routine, or have a complete story already.**

 **-Joanna Jade**

…

 _ **PART 5: Curse (Devotion to a Muggle)**_

 _ **Curses are the worst kind of dark magic; they affect the target in a strongly negative way.**_

…

 _5.2 DEFODIO_

 _Defodio (the Gouging Charm) is a spell used to gouge out portions of earth._

…

Falling into a coma is rare in the wizarding world, though not unheard of. Petrification is more common, and is similar in many ways. But there is one big difference between the two things: Petrification can be reversed with Mandrake root, but there's no cure for being in a coma.

Which meant there was nothing I could do for Maddie. I was helpless. I could tell her mother felt the same way, judging by her expression.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know exactly. I wasn't there. I was picking Bennett up from a violin lesson."

"Bennett's ok?"

Mrs. Carpenter nodded, and I smiled a tad. Maddie's brother was sweet, and I liked him.

"They told me they found Maddie in her bed," Mrs. Carpenter told me. "She'd had a busy day and went to bed early. I guess she didn't hear the fire alarms. She slept right through everything… and hasn't woken up since. They said it was carbon monoxide poisoning."

I nodded slowly, taking it in with a heavy heart.

"What about Mr. Carpenter? Is he okay?"

The instant I asked the question, I wished I hadn't.

Mrs. Carpenter's face crumpled, and she took in a shaky breath. "He… he didn't make it. Parts of the house collapsed… and… they said it was fast."

I looked down at the ground. "I'm sorry."

"I wish he had come with me to pick Bennett up. Then he'd still be here."

We sat quietly for a few minutes, and then Mrs. Carpenter said, "Do you want to see her?"

"Of course."

Mrs. Carpenter stood up from the bench and I followed suit. We walked into the building, bypassing the receptionist, who was busy helping someone else. We went to a lift and took it up to the third floor: Intensive Care.

I trailed behind Maddie's mother as she went down the first hall, turned a corner, and then stepped into the second room on the left. I tries to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach and stepped through the doorway after her.

There were several bouquets of flowers on the windowsill and the side table, and a few "Get Well Soon" balloons here and there. I imagined her muggle friends had brought them by and wondered if I should have brought something.

In the middle of it all was Maddie. She was lying on the hospital bed, white sheet pulled up to her chest and hands folded over it. Her eyes were closed and her expression was peaceful. She almost looked like she was sleeping, except for the IV in the back of her left hand and the breathing mask over her nose and mouth.

I moved over to the side of Maddie's bed, where a folding chair sat. I glanced at Mrs. Carpenter to make sure it was okay to sit, and saw her settle into an armchair closer to the door. Taking that to mean the folding chair was mine for now, I sat.

I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. Could Maddie hear me? If she could, what was I even supposed to say?

So I just sat. I watched her chest rise and fall, listened to the blipping of the heart monitor on her other side, and I was grateful just to see her alive.

After a while, a young nurse came in to check on her. She looked at the heart monitor and adjusted Maddie's mask and the thing on her index finger keeping track of her pulse. She made a few notations on her pad. She glanced at me, apparently noticing that I was new, but didn't ask any questions. She nodded to me and then to Maddie's mother and then walked out of the room.

I was guessing that meant Maddie's condition hadn't changed.

I looked back at Maddie and suddenly her mother spoke up.

"The doctors said Maddie's brain was badly damaged by the carbon monoxide. They don't think she's going to recover. They said… I should think about taking her off of life support."

I whipped my head up, and stared at her with wide eyes. "Are you going to?" I asked anxiously.

"No. I can't give up her. She's still my daughter, and I refuse to believe it's the only option. I've already lost one family member, I can't lose another."

I breathed an enormous sigh of relief.

"Thank God. I'm sure she'll make it. Maddie's strong, She'll fight her way back … somehow."

…

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	24. 5-3 Expecto Patronum

_**PART 5: Curse (Devotion to a Muggle)**_

 _ **Curses are the worst kind of dark magic; they affect the target in a strongly negative way.**_

…

 _5.3 EXPECTO PATRONUM_

 _Expecto Patronum (the Patronus Charm) is a spell used to conjure a positive force of energy called a patronus._

…

For several weeks after that, my time was split three ways.

My afternoons were spent at home, with my parents. They'd returned home, and were trying to be as compliant as possible so that the Ministry might consider pardoning them. I was actually going through the same thing, but my mind was far away.

My mornings were spent with Maddie, at her bedside. Mrs. Carpenter was usually there at that time, but Bennet was at school. Sometimes we talked, got to know one another. Mrs. Carpenter would tell me more about Maddie, things I'd missed in all the time I'd been away. Apparently, she'd started an art club at her high school, and Mrs. Carpenter brought me some of Maddie's art. The sketches were beautiful, and Maddie's sculptures were even more beautiful. I kept on of the smaller sculptures, a hummingbird, which I remembered was Maddie's favorite animal. Other times, we'd just sit quietly.

My evenings were spent with Maddie's family, or what remained of it. I met them at the hospital, and sometimes we stayed there, but other times we went all went out together. I got to know Bennett better, and found out that he was exceptional at violin, just like Maddie had been. It had been years since I played the cello, but I still had mine, so I started working on it again. On the weekends, Bennet and I played music together. We actually composed a song too, and we played it for Maddie.

Time went on, and I found a way to live with it all. I started to heal from the war, lstarted to come to terms with what I did.

One change that I decided was necessary was to get rid of my Dark Mark.

Of course, I can't really do that. It can't be removed like an ordinary tattoo. But it can be covered up with something else.

I spent some time working on designing something that would work. But I was unsatisfied with everything I came up with. It wasn't until a month later that I decided on an image.

I was walking home from the Carpenters' apartment, where I'd eaten dinner with the family, and then Bennet and I had played "La Vie En Rose" for Mrs. Carpenter. I walked places often, though I could've apparated easily. Walking places made me feel like I was really living, taking in the little details instead of speeding past them.

But as I walked home that night, I felt unnerved by the darkness that gripped the world. I usually left before dinner, and so I hadn't encountered the sort of blackness that I was suddenly surrounded by.

Normally, I would have just cast a Lumos spell, but some part of me wanted something different. I wanted to try something new.

So I tried to cast a Patronus.

Even now, I don't know what it was that made me think to do that. I'd tried once or twice before, but never had the ability, nor the desire to try harder.

But Maddie changed a lot of things in my life.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A silvery white light shot into the air, and then hung there like a cloud. It didn't have shape, but I was still stunned silent.

I stood still and watched the light slowly dissipate, and then I cast the charm again.

This time, I concentrated more. I knew that a fully-formed Patronus took the form of an animal, and I was suddenly intensely curious what mine would be.

"Expecto Patronum!"

The same silvery white cloud appeared, this time lingering even longer. Still, it had no shape.

I remembered that created a Patronus was best done while thinking of something that carried a strong happy emotion. Something like love.

Maddie.

"Expecto Patronum!"

I was thinking of every moment I'd spent with Maddie. Every smile, every laugh, every kiss. I was thinking of the moment I told her I loved her, and the warmth in my chest when she said it back.

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts, that I almost forgot to open my eyes, but I finally did.

There it was.

Floating in front of me was my Patronus, a small, silvery-white hummingbird.

I stood and stared at the shape for a while before realizing that my eyes were wet. I looked down and let out a choked laugh.

Of course it was a hummingbird.

After a few seconds, I looked up again, and the ethereal being was still there. I took a slow step forward, and it moved with me. All the way home, it stayed by me, and it only dissipated when I opened the door to my house.

And I knew then what would cover my Dark Mark.

A few days later, I sat through a three-hour tattoo appointment, but I'd suffered far worse. It had taken a while to explain to the tattoo artist what I wanted, but she had pulled it off perfectly.

When it was all done, the image of a dementor laid on my skin, covering most of the lower part of my arm. But at the top, with its wings spread protectively, was a silvery-white hummingbird, highlighted with light green.

I showed it to the Carpenters later that day. They didn't know what a dementor or a Patronus was, but I explained the image to them as a symbol of the darkness in me, which Maddie helped me overcome.

My parents didn't ask, but I saw the understanding in their eyes. I hadn't told them about Maddie, but they saw a change in me, and they knew there was someone. And they knew why I had to cover the Dark Mark.

I had changed.

…

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	25. 5-4 Protego

_**PART 5: Curse (Devotion to a Muggle)**_

 _ **Curses are the worst kind of dark magic; they affect the target in a strongly negative way.**_

…

 _5.4 PROTEGO_

 _Protego (the Shield Charm) is a spell used to create a magical protective barrier._

…

Two weeks later, Mrs. Carpenter stopped coming every day. She said it was breaking her heart to keep seeing Maddie, knowing that she'd made no progress. I also stopped seeing she and Bennet every evening. I did see them once or twice during the weekend, but things were different. They wanted to start moving forward, and though it seemed a lot like giving up to me, I understood.

I still went to the hospital twice a day, so I ended up spending a lot more time alone with Maddie. I started talking to her a lot more, told her things I hadn't ever said when she was awake, couldn't say when she was awake. I prayed I would get the chance to someday soon.

One day, I decided to tell her the truth about my life.

"Do you believe in magic, Maddie? You should, because it's real. I'm a wizard."

I paused.

"I know you'd probably be laughing right now if you were awake. But it's true. Really. Hogwarts, isn't really a boarding school, it's actually a school of wizardry. Pretty crazy, huh? But I've known about it my whole life. When we were kids, I thought you had magic too."

I sighed.

"That's why I kept asking you if you got a letter. I kept waiting for you to tell me you were coming to Hogwarts too. See, my family, we're purebloods. That means we come from a long line of just wizards and witches. My father… the reason he never liked you wasn't because your family isn't as rich. It's because your family is normal, non-magical. I wasn't allowed to have non-magical friends. And I used to be fine with that. But then you came along, and… I wanted to be friends with you. So I convinced myself that you were a witch, what we call a muggleborn. See, muggles are non-magical people, and sometimes they have magical kids. And I thought maybe you were one."

A few minutes of silence lapsed, while I thought about our years of friendship.

"It was hard for me, ignoring you. I was so mad at myself for being so stupid, for being friends with a muggle. But I was wrong. I let my family – my father – tell me what to think. I know how to think for myself now."

I stood and took Maddie's hand, squeezing it in the hopes that some part of her could feel it.

"Everything is different now. After the war, after everything that's happened… I want to tell you about it all. The good, the bad, everything. I just hope that you can still love me after you know the truth about me, what I've done. Because I've done a lot of bad things, Maddie. Really bad things. I wanted to protect you and my family and I thought that justified it. But it doesn't. I don't deserve to be forgiven, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me anyway. I want to prove to you that I'm different now. You made me a better man. And I love you, I always will."

I waited for a few moments, but Maddie showed no sign of understanding any of what I'd said.

"Please, Maddie. I know how strong you are. And I need you to fight. Fight for your family, fight for me. Fight because we need you. Please. And when you come back, I'll tell you everything. No more secrets, rules be damned."

I fell asleep there after that, and slept for a few hours. I rarely slept well at home, the recent trauma too damaging to let me truly rest. But I managed.

I was finally woken when a nurse entered the room to check on Maddie again.

I watched her anxiously and as she moved to exit the door.

"Any change?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Sorry, no."

I drooped in my chair and looked over at Maddie again, memorizing every detail of her face, her blonde hair. I wondered when the last time I saw her bright green eyes was.

"Maddie," I said slowly, contemplatively. "Maddie… if you wake up… I'll marry you. Honestly. I love you, and I don't want to even think about living the rest of my life without you. My life is better with you in it. If you wake up, and if you'll have me, I swear I will marry you."

I waited for something, the smallest sign of life. A tiny twitch, a flutter of eyelashes, anything at all.

But Maddie remained as lifeless as stone.

.…

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	26. 5-5 Avada Kedavra

**So this is the last chapter, but there will be an epilogue, so stay tuned one more week.**

 **Oh, and… sorry in advance.**

…

 _ **PART 5: Curse (Devotion to a Muggle)**_

 _ **Curses are the worst kind of dark magic; they affect the target in a strongly negative way.**_

…

 _5.5 AVADA KEDAVRA_

 _Avada Kedavra (the Killing Curse) is a spell used to kill an opponent._

…

After Maddie had been in a coma for two months, even I started to lose hope. I clung to the sliver of hope that I did have, and I kept coming to see her, though not always every day. But I refused to give up.

Unfortunately, it seemed Mrs. Carpenter was losing hold on her hope quickly.

I saw her less and less as the weeks went on, though Bennet did continue to visit periodically, and I still had dinner with the pair once a week.

It was early on a sunny Monday morning when everything changed.

I was going to visit Maddie, as usual, but then my eye caught on a bunched up figure in the corner.

"Bennett?"

Maddie's brother was curled up in a chair, knees to his chest and arms curled around his knees. His head swiveled to look at me when I said his name, and I saw his eyes were red-rimmed from crying.

Suddenly I was on high-alert.

"What's going on?"

I glanced at Maddie's bed to ensure that she was still there, and she was. So then…

"She's signing the papers," he said. "My mom's signing the papers to take her off life support. She's just going to let Maddie die."

My heart nearly stopped at his words.

"When?" I demanded. "Now? Where is she?"

"Not now. Tonight. I'm supposed to be at school, but if… if this is the last time I see her…" Bennett dissolved into sobs.

I honestly felt like joining him, but I wasn't about to give in.

"I'm going to stop her," I said firmly. "I'll convince her."

I left the room and apparated directly to outside the door to the Carpenters' apartment.

I pounded on the door, and Mrs. Carpenter answered a few moments later, looking tired. There were dark circles under her eyes, and her shoulders sagged.

"You're taking Maddie off life support?" I asked angrily.

"How did you..." she started to ask, but she answered her own question. "Bennett. Of course."

She pulled the door all the way open, "Please come in."

I walked in and Mrs. Carpenter led me to the living area. She sat on the couch, leaning heavily on the arm. I sat across from her on an armchair.

"I was going to tell you," she began. "I just didn't know how to yet."

"You're giving up," I stated dryly. "She's your _daughter_ , how could you just…"

Mrs. Carpenter flinched, and her face looked pained.

"I don't want to let her go. She's still my little girl, and I love her, but I have to see reason. I've lost my husband, and as much as I want to believe otherwise, I've lost my daughter too. She isn't getting better."

"It could," I argued. "You don't know for sure."

"You're right, I don't. And I could never be completely sure. But I don't want to do this any longer. Keeping her here won't help anyone, and we can't keep living like this. I can't keep drawing this out."

"Please, just… just give her a little more time. Another month or two."

Mrs. Carpenter sighed. "I don't even have the money to pay for the medical bills for these past two months. I have to make sure I can take care of Bennett and myself first. He's… he's having an especially hard time with this. He believes - maybe even more than you - that Maddie will just wake up someday. He's not able to live with any semblance of normalcy because he's… waiting. He'll always be waiting. And the longer he waits, the more it'll hurt when..."

I was silent.

Mrs. Carpenter's eyes were glassy, full of unshed tears, and she didn't finish the sentence. Instead, she said simply, "Maddie would want us to move on. It's the right thing to do."

My heart was heavy, but I knew she was right. I'd clung so tightly to false hope because I knew Maddie wouldn't recover.

I'd never see her green eyes or her smile again.

"I don't want to say goodbye," I said quietly, without anything else to say.

"I know."

…

Mrs. Carpenter signed the papers that night, and I sat with Bennett while she did. He was angry with me for letting her do it, but more than that, he was devastated. We all were.

We spent a long time in silence.

"We should write something for her," he finally said.

"What?"

"We should write a song for Maddie. Before they…. you know."

I nodded. "Okay. Let's do it, then."

By the time Mrs. Carpenter came back, we'd already started brainstorming, but we stopped as soon as she appeared.

"Tomorrow," she said, and we all knew what that meant.

"We can finish it tonight," I told Bennett. I'll get my cello and come over, and we'll finish the song."

Bennett nodded.

So as soon as they'd left the hospital and I was out of sight, I apparated home, feeling the sense of urgency. I grabbed my cello and then apparated near the Carpenters' apartment building, walking the rest of the way so they would still arrive first.

Bennett and I stayed up the whole night, writing, rewriting, and perfecting a small piece of music. And I knew it would be the last thing I ever played.

The next day, in late morning, the three of us went to the hospital, weighed down by what was to come.

We sat around Maddie's bedside, and when the doctors came in, I asked them to wait a minute so Bennet and I could play our composition.

The song was slow and sad, mournful, full of heart, telling of Maddie's life in a way that words never could. Tears slid down my face as I played, and when it was over, when I opened my eyes, I was that Mrs. Carpenter had been crying too. Even the doctors were glassy-eyed.

Then Bennett joined his mother on Maddie's right side, and I went to her left side.

And they unplugged her.

She continued to breathe for a few minutes after they removed all the tubing, and it was just like she was sleeping. But slowly, her breaths became more shallow, and eventually tapered off.

I held her hand when she took her last breath, when the last bit of air passed through her lips, when the heart monitor was reduced to one long tone.

And she was gone.

.…

 **That was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write. I was listening to a cello and violin duet while I wrote, and I literally made myself cry. I knew it was going to end this way from the beginning - this is my invented backstory, not a new ending to J.K.'s books - but it hurt a lot more than I expected.**

 **So, there you have it. But, like I said, we aren't done yet. There will be an epilogue, and you'll see how this feeds into Draco's later life. I promise, the epilogue will not be nearly as devastating as this chapter was.**

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	27. Epilogue

**Here it is- the very last chapter. It's been a long time coming. I hope you enjoy the ending to this fic!**

…

 _Epilogue_

…

After Maddie's death, I never fully recovered.

I was angry at myself, at my family, at the world because she was too good to die.

It should've been me.

So I threw himself into schooling. Though I didn't need to work, as us Malfoys were so wealthy that it would never be necessary for me to do so, I decided to pursue higher wizarding education. I found that it took the edge off, to some extent, when I was busy. The absence in my heart that Maddie had once occupied could never be filled, but when I was distracted, I noticed its ache less.

I started out with alchemy, something I took interest in because I knew it could be used to help others. It wasn't that I wanted to discover something that would save others in Maddie's situation. In fact, that was the last thing I wanted. To find something that would have saved her, but too late… it would have been the worst kind of agony. No, what I wanted was to see hope again. To see that people could be saved, that my life could mean something. That the world still gave a damn. Maybe that doesn't make a lot of sense now, but that's how it was.

I never did learn a spell or potion that could have saved Maddie, but I learned a lot of others that could save innumerable lives. I learned that I could help people instead of hurting them. And I learned that the world did still care about people who were hurting.

During that time, I also developed a curiosity in wandcraft, and began to study that as well. My family certainly had the money for me to do so.

Shockingly, Garrick Ollivander, the owner of the wand shop in Diagon Alley, soon took me in as an apprentice. I had a hard time believing that he was being genuine, as he had once been held captive by Death Eaters in my home, and I'd been a part of it. But he honestly forgave me. He told me that he saw potential in me, not just for wandcraft, but for healing, for being the start of a new and better generation of wizards. I don't think I believed him then. I'm still not sure I do, but I took his words to heart and I try to live by them. Though he gave me his trust and respect unconditionally, I wanted to earn them. I tore down all my old prejudices and I drained all the poison from my mind which had so tainted my life.

That makes it sound easy, but in reality, it took a long time, and was very difficult.

But I pressed forward.

Even still, it was years before I found myself willing to date again. Even then, it was half-hearted; I did it mostly for my mother, who feared she would never have grandchildren.

But eventually, things did change, as they tend to do.

It was a summer afternoon, blistering due to a sudden heat wave that had hit London. I was managing the wand shop, something I did on occasion as a favor to Ollivander. He tried to pay me for the work, but I refused the money.

A young woman strolled into the shop, dark hair somehow styled elegantly in spite of the heat. She struck me as familiar, though I couldn't at first identify why.

She told me that she'd broken her wand by accident when a spell went wrong, and needed to replace it. She gave me its dimensions, and told me the wood and core it was made of.

I invited her to the stockroom with me and told her to pick out a few wands which struck her eye while I found one like her old wand. Since no two wands are exactly the same, it's not always best to replace one wand with another that's exactly like it.

After we'd gathered up a few candidates, we returned to the front of the shop, and I asked the woman to test them out. Ollivander could tell which wand was meant for a person just by looking at them hold it, but I wasn't quite as intuitive. I preferred to see them swish it around a bit or perhaps cast a spell.

While she tried out the wands, the woman told me, "I'm Astoria Greengrass, by the way. And you're Draco Malfoy, correct?"

"I am."

"Do you work here now?"

"Not exactly. I apprentice under Ollivander, and I help him out, but I'm not an employee."

In actuality, Ollivander had asked me on many occasions to be a full-time employee. In fact, once or twice he even asked if I'd consider taking over the store eventually, but I never wanted that. As much as I loved wandcraft, I knew it wasn't my place to run Ollivander's shop permanently. Instead, I just help out, and will likely help him find and train someone who will take over for him.

I studied Astoria's face for a few moments while she tried out another wand, then said, "Greengrass… Did you have a relative in my year? What was her name… Daphne, maybe?"

"Yes, Daphne. She's my older sister. I was two years behind you."

"I see."

A few more moments of silence passed while I tried to piece together why Astoria looked so familiar. Finally, it struck me.

"You fought in the Battle of Hogwarts," I said with wide eyes, remembering. "You fought against the Death Eaters, and you weren't even old enough. One of the only Slytherins to do so, I think."

Astoria nodded. "I was. My own sister didn't even fight. I had to slip away from her to fight."

"That was incredibly brave of you. I… wish I could have been more like you."

Astoria looked me in the eyes carefully.

"I know what you did. You saw me fight, and I saw you. Don't forget that you fought for Hogwarts too."

I'd never heard someone say anything to me about that before. I had, after all, joined the Death Eaters again after Harry Potter had supposedly died. But Astoria said it with such… admiration. I was blown away.

I dropped my eyes. "I don't deserve… I'm no hero. I was a coward, trying to do the right thing, but so afraid that I usually chose wrong."

Astoria laughed.

"Weren't we all? Voldemort scared a lot of people, and fooled just as many. It's okay to forgive yourself."

I didn't know what to say to that.

After a bit, Astoria picked up the second wand she'd tried out, one with the same length as her old one but with a different wood and core.

"I think this one suits me best. What do you think?"

I nodded. "That's the one. I'll ring you up."

Astoria handed over the money for the wand and as I stuck it into the cash register, she spoke again.

"I want to be different than my parents. I think they were wrong about pureblood supremacy and all that. We're all the same."

On instinct, I replied, "Me too. I used to believe the same as them - it's all I ever knew - but so much has changed…" I faltered, surprised at my own passion.

Astoria smiled.

"I knew I saw something good in you."

She turned to walk out of the shop, and as the doors began to open, I called out, "Wait!"

Astoria turned back around.

"Would you… would you like to go out with me sometime?"

Astoria grinned again. "I'd love to."

And thus began our romance. Astoria and I fell for each other quickly, and she earned her own place in my heart. As that place began to grow, the hole Maddie had left begun to shrink. Though a small piece of me will always be with Maddie, I found myself able to begin moving on. And I fell in love for the second time.

During our courtship, I told Astoria all of my secrets. I held nothing back, telling her even the parts that pained me to say out loud. I told her about my time as a Death Eater, and I told her about Maddie. To this day, she is the only person I've ever told. She treated me with a sort of love and kindness I'd seen very little in my life, and every time I thought I'd revealed too much, that what I'd said couldn't be forgiven, she would tell me the same thing over and over again.

" _I still see the good in you, Draco. I'm not giving up on you just yet."_

It took me a long time to realize she never would. And when that fact finally made its way through my thick skull, I decided to marry her.

Our union was happily accepted by our families, as expected. We were both purebloods who'd been raised to believe in pureblood supremacy. But unlike our parents, Astoria and I were going to raise our children with the knowledge that we are all equals.

When we had our first child, a son, Astoria suggested naming him after a constellation or star, as was the tradition in my mother's family (the Blacks).

I brought up the name Scorpius, and she loved it. It had been Maddie's zodiac sign, and both Astoria and I thought it would be a suitable way to honor her. She had been the main cause of the change in my life, and certainly deserved to be recognized in such a way.

I want to say this, though. Astoria was never a replacement for Maddie. I love Astoria now as deeply as I loved Maddie so long ago, likely even more. And though they share many qualities, Astoria is her own person, and I love her for exactly who she is. She and I have grown and changed together, and developed a new outlook on life that I first glimpsed because of Maddie. But my heart no longer belongs to Maddie. As much as I miss her, I can't give my heart to a ghost.

Scorpius looks so much like me, it's startling. But though he is young, I see pieces of his mother in him every day. And sometimes, I even notice bits of him that remind me of Maddie.

I have vowed to raise my son right, to teach him all the things about the world that I was so slow to see. Those people around me - Maddie, Ollivander, and Astoria - they helped me see past all the ideas that had been crammed in my head for so long.

And I'm so grateful.

Scorpius will know that having magic and being pure-blooded doesn't make you better than everyone else. Muggles and Wizards, Muggle-Born and Pureblood, none of that matters. He will know, as I now do, that the most important thing you can be is genuine, and the rest is up to you.

 _We are all the same._

…

 **Man, that was challenging to write. I hope I did this ending justice.**

 **Despite the title, this story wasn't really about Maddie. It was about Draco, and how his world shaped him to be who he is today. In the books, he was, for the most part, villainized, and I wanted to show a side of him that we never got to see. I wanted to show Draco confused and conflicted, struggling with what he was taught as opposed to the truth buried deep inside him, suppressed but not entirely gone.**

 **I wanted to show Draco as a person. A flawed person and a coward, but someone with a heart.**

 **And I really hope that's what you guys got to see here.**

 **REVIEW!**

 **P.S. I may be adding an alternate ending within the next week or so, written by the wonderful Veronyca Chaliss and edited by me. So stay tuned!**


	28. An Alternate Ending (Fan-Written)

**I bet none of you thought you'd see an update for this, did you?**

 **But I made a promise that I have to keep.**

 **I got a PM in May from a girl named Veronyca, another author here on the site-that-shall-not-be-named (her penname is "Stargirl Veronyca"). She said she was a fan of this story, and has started writing her own ending, and was wondering if I could post it here, what I've written. I was blown away, stunned that anyone loved this story so much. While I'd already planned and written the ending as I imagined it, I was more than happy to include her take on the ending. So, five months later, here we are.**

 **If you squint, it can actually accompany the epilogue I wrote. You can imagine both happening at once, which is really cool. Props to Veronyca for that. In fact, it goes alongside my ending in the same way that this whole story goes alongside the canon world that J.K. Rowling created, which is kind of poetic if you think about it.  
**

 **Disclaimer: All credit goes to Veronyca Chaliss ("Stargirl Veronyca"). I'm just the beta for this one.**

 **And now, here's how the story** _ **might**_ **have ended…**

…

 _An Alternate Ending (Fan-Written Epilogue)_

…

When I got home that night, the night they pulled her life-support, I pretended to go to sleep.

But instead, I cried. Endlessly. I cried as if I had never really cried before, letting loose sounds that were barely human. My soul was weighed down with pain. My body was a casket full of grief.

Maddie was dead and I couldn't save her.

Throughout the night I drifted in and out of sleep. At one point I almost did.

But there were voices calling from beyond.

I threw my hands up to cover my ears, but that seemed to only amplify the noise.

Finally, not being able to stand it anymore, I apparated, hoping that the voices would leave me alone if I went elsewhere. I hadn't exactly thought it through, but a passing thought of Hogwarts was enough to send me there. But instead of silencing the voices, it made it worse, and the voices blended into a continuous screaming inside my head.

I walked to the forest, trying to block out the voices that tore through my shattered mind. I reached the start of the forbidden forest and looked to the stars.

 _Draco_ , the voices called out. _Draco…_

I looked down from the sky and ran. Like when I apparated, I didn't run to a chosen destination. I just ran… ran away from the voices, away from my past, away from the pain, away from everything I knew…

Away from Maddie.

I just wanted to die.

It felt like I was dying.

The trees loomed over me, the darkness closing in… it seemed almost eager for me to become a part of it. I ran far… so far… hoping that no one would ever be able to find my body.

I tripped and fell onto my knees, pain sizzling through me.

 _Draco._ More of those infernal voices.

I let out a guttural, earth-shattering scream, gripping my head in my hands.

"Leave me alone!" I screamed. But it was a whisper, so _so_ quiet beneath the roar of the voices.

I could feel hot tears on my cheeks. If I could think then, I might have been surprised. After the many hours I'd already spent sobbing, how could there be anything left?

I was on my knees, my chest pressed against my jeans. I rocked myself back and forth, mumbling incoherent words.

There was a stabbing pain in my chest, and I was sure it was my heart. My heart, finally breaking, finlly shattering into pieces so small and so many they were like sand.

I wonder if that was what it was like for all those people Voldemort killed. I wonder if that is what it feels like to die - not that peaceful final breath that you wish for, but a chest-crushing pain like lava coursing through your veins while ice freezes your bones.

I rested my head on the ground. I just wanted to sleep. To die. To stop existing.

But then, for a brief moment, I thought I heard a single familiar voice calling to me above the screams of the others.

"Maddie?" I whispered.

I got no reply.

It wasn't Maddie. It couldn't have been Maddie. It was just the voices playing tricks on my mind. It had to be.

Something like terror coursed through my mind, and I found myself apparating home, to my room. I didn't know what was happening, why the screaming wouldn't stop, why they wouldn't leave me alone.

Was this my punishment? Because I couldn't save Maddie? Because I didn't try hard enough? Was it because of what I'd done in the Dark Lord's service?

I crawled into bed and hid under the sheets like a child, ashamed and confused by my own fear.

After an eternity of screaming voices and endless tears, my exhaustion finally took over and I fell asleep.

Thank god it was a dreamless sleep.

…

I slept past midday, and only woke up then because there was an uncomfortable - borderline painful – feeling in my hand. I sat up from my bed and felt something cold burn into my skin. An item dropped from my hand - a stone - and sizzled on the floor.

Huh? What the-

A knock at the door startled me.

I kicked the stone under the bed for closer inspection later.

"Come in."

The door opened to reveal, of all people, Harry Potter.

After the night I'd had, I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to yell at him for failing to protect the innocent. Though it was foolish and unfair, I wanted to blame him for Maddie, for the army of dead the Death Eaters left in their wake. But I didn't have the energy to scream any more.

As I opened my moth to tell the Boy Who Lived to sod off, he interrupted me.

"Draco, I just want to talk," he said, holding his hands up in defense.

I could see that, but I certainly didn't have any desire to talk, and I stared at him with all the menace I could muster.

"Look, I know we have never see eye to eye, but I want to help you. And that starts with us being able to talk."

"Leave me alone." I whispered under my breath.

"Draco, can we just talk-"

"Leave me alone, Potter." I repeated, trying to keep my voice stable. I couldn't let myself fall apart again. Especially not in front of him.

Potter's face morphed into confusion… and something like concern. "You're… Is something going on? You seem… different."

"Please... just… leave me alone…" I practically begged.

He looked like he wanted to say more, but apparently thought better of it. "I just want to know if you know anything about the Dark marks outside the houses nearby," he said finally.

If I wasn't already sitting down, I probably would have collapsed.

My heart thundered, and anger rushed in my ears. Some newfound strength fueled me and I screamed, "WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT? NOTHING! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT PLACE, THE PEOPLE WHO DIED THERE! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT…" My mind stopped, my rage disappearing as quickly as it came.

Maddie.

"Draco?" Potter ventured, looking more concerned about me than I'd ever seen him. "Are you… okay?"

Tears were flowing freely down my face, I realized. I wasn't sure when that started.

"Did you…" he began cautiously, "did you set those houses on fire?"

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST," I began, but broke off, unable to continue.

Green eyes watched me carefully.

"What's going on?" he finally asked, tired of trying to solve the puzzle himself.

" _I've lost people too, you know_ ," I hissed.

Potter still looked confused, but some part of him had started to understand.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

"I don't want your pity." But I needed it. I needed someone to care.

"Can I-"

"EXPELLIARMIS!"

Harry smashed into my bookshelf.

"I know you're just trying to help, but I don't want it." I said through gritted teeth.

Harry was blinking vision back into his eyes, and looked at me, utterly stupefied.

The silver logical part of my brain was telling me to talk to someone about this. The other part of my brain wasn't working at all.

I sank into my knees, eyes burning with pain. It seems I'd finally run out of tears to shed.

I tucked my head against my knees, no longer able to face the world around me.

"Maddie," I breathed. "I'm sorry."

I stayed like that until Potter gave up and left, closing the door behind him.

He didn't come back.

Neither of my parents ever showed up. I'm not sure why. Perhaps they had been nearby, watching my confrontation with the so-called Chosen One. But I imagine they knew I didn't want to see anyone.

I drifted off in that position for a short time. When I woke up, I urged myself to stand. After what seemed like hours, I managed to haul myself onto my bed. I reached for my wand but stopped. A note sat under my wand, signed by Harry Potter himself.

I started at the note, but I dare not open it. I feared what it might say.

So instead, I thought to investigate the strange stone that had burned my hand with it's cold.

From under my bed, it was shining. It looked like a diamond. But as I looked closer I saw that it really was just a stone.

I kneeled down and picked it up, turning it over in my hand. A strange marking was carved into the stone, a marking that I now know to be the symbol of the Deathly Hallows.

"Draco," a familiar voice called from behind me.

"Maddie?" I turned to face a girl I knew to be dead, thinking maybe it was just the voices again. But there she was, standing in front of me, talking to me.

"Hello." She smiled her eyes lighting up like they use to when she was still alive. But she couldn't be alive, it wasn't possible. But then… when you live in a world of magic…

"A-are you real?" I stammered.

"Of course." She smiled, walking closer to me.

I held out my wand, adopting a defensive stance. "Prove it." I whispered.

"Oh, Draco," she said. She moved closer to me, and suddenly her hand was on my arm and I could _feel_ it on my arm, gently nudging my wand arm down.

She moved slowly, and then she was pressing her lips against mine and winding her arms around my neck and I was sure I'd died too and I didn't care.

Obviously, I kissed back. And it was wonderful. I will not give you the details - it was a kiss, honestly, come to your own conclusions.

Eventually, I pulled away. "Maddie."

"Draco."

"How are you here?"

She gestured towards the stone - the resurrection stone - which was still clutched in my hand.

"You probably know more about it than I do."

"Oh," I said dumbly.

She laughed again. "Tell me about magic," she asked eagerly.

I swallowed. "Alright. But some of it might make you regret being my friend."

"Nothing could make me regret being your friend, Draco."

"If you say so," I said, grinning. "This might take a while, though, so you should sit down."

…

I told her everything, from when we first met till that very moment.

She listened quietly, absorbing all the information into her. By the time I had finished a streak of light gleamed through my window. A new day.

And Maddie was silent.

"You hate me." I looked down at the floor, ready for the rejection, certain it was to come. My chest hurt. I didn't want to lose her again.

"I could never hate you, Draco," she soothed, getting down on her knees to be face to face with me.

"But I killed you." I avoided Maddies eyes, waiting for her to become angry with me. The statement was close enough to the truth.

"No, you didn't kill me Draco. Don't say that."

Maddie moved her hand too cup my cheek, but I moved away, unable to forgive myself for what I'd done. I didn't deserve forgiveness.

Maddie sighed. "You know… for a while I wondered what my life meant. Regularly, I'd come up with all kinds of meaningless things, but … ever since you came along, I felt more alive than ever. I wanted to spend every moment I had with you, I didn't care if it was only a minute, I just wanted to be with you. I still want to be with you. You are the reason I was alive for so long. And I have lived a great life Draco, a life that was great in part because I spent some of it with you and there is nothing I regret. Nothing."

I looked back at her. "You mean it?"

"Of course I do, stupid."

She smiled and it was like everything was back to the way it was supposed to be. Maybe even better.

Except.

She was dead.

"Will you come back tomorrow?" I asked, sounding like a six year old.

She nodded, and then started to fade.

"Oh, yeah," she said, only half visible, "Read that note. You might find something in there you want to know."

I blinked as she faded even more.

"Wait-"

"See you tomorrow, Draco."

And she disappeared completely.

My eyes teared up and I said to the air that was her moments before, "I love you."

…

A few minutes later, I ripped open the envelope, desperate to get it over and done with.

It was from Harry bloody Potter. My lifelong enemy, who I'd hated as long as I'd loved Maddie.

But she had said I should, so I did.

 _Draco,_

 _I know we have never been the best of friends, but I still hope you know I mean what I'm about to say._

 _I'm sorry for everything I have ever done to you that has gotten you in trouble or hurt._

 _I'm sorry for the way I treated you at Hogwarts. I can't help but think now that maybe if you'd had better friends, things would be different. For you, and for all of us. I hope I don't have anything to do with your current situation._

 _I hope that if you need to talk about anything that you know you can talk to me and that I want to mend the bridge between us, as do Ron, Hermione and Ginny. (We had a discussion about it, but eventually we all agreed...)_

 _I hope that, even if you don't tell me now, you'll tell me someday what you lost; I want to be able to help you, like your mother helped me._

 _Harry Potter_

 _P.S. Your mother lied to Voldemort about me being alive. She said I was dead. She saved my life._

"You really don't want to know Harry," I muttered. "It's too much for now. But… maybe one day the time will come."

…

The next couple of years, Maddie and I talked every day.

I told her what I did that day and why.

She helped me regain some of my humanity and most of my sanity.

Around the time I started working at Ollivander's Wand Shop was the same time we started talking less.

At first I had lots of things going on and it was so hard to find time, but after a while I moved on.

I met a girl and was too embarrassed to tell Maddie, so I would find excuses not to talk to her, so I didn't have to tell her about this new girl.

Eventually we only talked every month or so, it was so infrequent, so different.

The last day I ever saw Maddie was the day I proposed to Astoria Greengrass.

Three months later, our wedding day arrived. Though, te wedding was starting soon, there was something I had to take care of first.

I apparated to the lake around Hogwarts where I'd found the stone, far away from the wedding. A place where I would never go again.

I took the stone in my hand, and held it out in my palm.

"Goodbye." I whispered to the stone - to Maddie.

I drew back my hand and threw the stone as far as I could, as hard as I could, then watched as it hit the water and disappeared.

I waited for the tears to come. I waited for the pain, the crippling agony of losing her all over again. But nothing came. No guilt, no regret. I felt free, I felt happy, like I could live again without clinging to my past. The part of me that I'd lost when I first lost Maddie had been filled in, but at the same time, she still had a place in my heart.

I watched as the ripples in the water expanded and eventually vanished, before apparating back to my wedding. Just in time.

Astoria was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen, and beautiful by anyone else's standard too.

Most of the rest was a blur, right up until the words, "You may kiss the bride."

Anyone who was super keen attention might have seen the slight hesitation I had before I kissed Astoria.

Astoria and I's relationship wasn't particularly physical, but I had kissed her before. But I couldn't' help but think about another girl, the girl I shared my first kiss with, the girl I might have been standing at the alter kissing if fate hadn't struck her down. The only other girl I'd ever imagined a life with.

But the moment passed, and I let go of what I could've had with Maddie and with a kiss, sealed my future with Astoria.

In the corner of my eye I saw Harry in the back row with Ron, Hermione(who was pregnant) and Ginny, smiling their heads off.

To be honest, I didn't expect them to come, but now I have to admit I'm genuinely happy they did.

…

After the party had started and the stars were more beautiful than ever, I made my way through the crowd to the boy I once hated.

"Congratulations," Harry Potter said, staring at the sky

"Thanks," I said. "I didn't really expect you to come."

A silence fell that seemed to last for a while before I spoke again.

"I read the note," I said. "When you came to visit after the Battle of Hogwarts."

Potter looked at me quizzically, and then he seemed to recall.

"One day," I said tentatively, "I might tell you. What I lost. Not now, but… someday I might like to."

"I hope you do. I have a feeling there's a lot I don't know… Anyway, enjoy your night. I know we'll see each other again."

He walked away, leaving me to stare at the stars.

In the sky, I could see the constellation Scorpio - her star sign - shining down, almost as if Maddie was watching me.

I'll never forget you, Maddie.

…

I did tell Harry about Maddie. Eventually.

Took me over ten years though.

It was the same day I waved mine and Astoria's son Scorpius off to his first year of Hogwarts.

It was strange to talk about it after so long. It had been nineteen years since she died. It had been a while since I thought about what I said to Potter at my wedding, but I found myself thinking about Maddie a lot that day, remembering how it felt to push her away when I went off to Hogwarts because she wasn't a witch.

And when I saw the Potter family there, I decided it was time.

After I bid Scorpius goodbye, I invited Potter to lunch, which he agreed to with a minimal amount of suspicion.

We never did become friends.

I reminded him of the letter and what I said to him all those years ago and I asked him if he still cared.

He did.

So I told him. Not everything, just who she was, and what she was to me.

I told him how Maddie changed my way of thinking, and that I wanted to raise my son better.

I had made sure that Scorpius knew that not all Mudbloods are bad, and he should try his best to remember that. I also told him that he should accept everyone, but still be the best Slytherin ever.

Hey, I'm still a Malfoy, that isn't going to change.

But most importantly I made sure he knew that everyone was capable of change.

Since then, I've noticed that Potter looks at me differently. Despite everything, he'd always looked at me with a small degree of suspicion. I suppose he was never sure he could trust me.

Now, though, what I see in his eyes is kinship. The knowledge that we aren't so different after all.

…

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 **And don't forget to check out Veronyca's account – Stargirl Veronyca!**

 **I know she worked hard on this story, and I had a lot of fun doing my part in editing too. I put my heart and soul into writing this story, and it's unlike anything I've ever written. But I'm proud of what I made, and I wouldn't share Veronyca's ending if I wasn't proud of it too.**

 **Thank you Veronyca!**


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